RM , A Backstage Romance Book 2 In The Series

what now

Staring at the screen Rose didn't know whether to laugh or cry... both emotions very present .

Rm or should she be calling him Namjoon now ? Hmm she thought , some thing to think about later..right now her Rm was saying he loved her which made her really really happy , but he didn't know about the baby... the one thing he didn't want to happen , would he even believe he was the father ? Even she wouldn't believe it except the proof was in her tummy...but he loves me came the happy voice in her head,  but he doesn't know came the opposing argument.

She was aware her inner monologue was just stalling for time , but she let it run on,  she actually thought she might be about to get sick on top of everything else.

She ran to the bathroom and sat on the floor , she took deep breaths and tried hard to relax.. whilst she sat there the actual realisation that Rm loved her like actually truly for real loved her hit her , and she burst in to tears.. happy, sad, relieved ,excited , hopeful and scared all rolled into one...." bloody hormones ' she said into the echoey bathroom.

She calmed and managed to not be sick so she slowly made her way back to her bed and sat on it ..phone in hand .

She had to reply..but say what,  she didn't want to say I love you back,  she didn't want to commit until she knew how he would react to the baby , she didn't want to be that vulnerable.

She read the email again and thought the poem was cute,  however he was a famous song writer , he could have done better , then she registered the ' 3 beers ' comment.. was he drunk?

She clicked reply,  she was going to keep it in her character as best as possible and not this snivelling desperate wreck this baby seemed to have turned her into..

" ARE YOU DRUNK ? "
She pressed send and then immediately thought ' Stupid Rose , it would still be early morning there. He must have sent his late last night or very early in the a.m .Of course he wouldn't be drunk by the time he sees her email. She sighed and wished she had an English phone so she could instant message. She would have deleted her dumb comment and sent something better instead but she only had her personal phone still  .

Luckily she could access email through her mums WiFi but outside the house the phone was still useless .  Just one of the many things she still had to sort out.

Hoping he would still be asleep and maybe wouldn't see her email she sat and waited. Sometimes nervous,  sometimes excited.. 

His phone notifying him he had mail woke him, he'd only had a few hours sleep but...he looked at his phone. she'd replied !.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes then put his reading glasses on. He opened it with his heart thumping loudly ..

" ARE YOU DRUNK ?"

He stared at the 3 little words. Not the exact response he'd hoped for ....but it was a start he thought grinning to himself.

He wanted to ask her so many things  , was she okay , was she coming back , did she love him , but her reply hadn't given him an opening yet so he had to think before replying.

" I wasn't " he typed then said " are you okay ?"

He went to the kitchen and made himself an iced coffee to wake up to while he waited for Rose to respond.

Rose opened his email and read it.." now what do I say " she asked her phone . She truthfully had a million things to say but couldnt say any of them yet , she needed to find a middle ground. " thank you for my poem,  it was very...' she tried to think of the right word..." sweet , I hope you are well and not working too hard "

" I hope you are well ?! " Rm almost hit the desk,  she sounded  ever so polite , like some one thanking their distant  relative for  a present . He guessed he'd have to get more personal if he wanted a more personal response ...

"  you didn't answer my question but maybe you'll answer this one did you like the part where I said you had my heart? Or even the bit where I said I love you ?"

He sat back, pleased with his response,   now she'd have to answer .. ..

" why was he doing this to her ?" Rose thought ,what could she possibly say to that ' yes I love you too please take me away from here and marry me and let's live happily ever after '!

Sarcasm had always been her go-to but this time she guessed she needed to give a grown up answer .

She took a breath and flexed her fingers , " the poem was lovely. All the words. Thank you.

Why did you tell me though  ? I thought it was never meant to be more than a bit of fun. What's changed ? '

What's changed ?! Everything. He thought.  We love each other and some how between us we can make this work......was what he wanted to send but couldn't. Rose hadn't said those words to him yet so instead " I fell in love with you.  That's what changed , I want to see you every day.  I want to look after you when you're poorly , I want to be the one you turn to if things get difficult. I want to mean as much to you and you do to me !
He sent it and thought he couldn't have been any clearer , with out making future promises yet with answers he didn't know .

He took a big mouthful of coffee and waited .. her last emails had come through almost instantly. What was taking so long this time.

After staring at his phone for half an hour he jumped when it buzzed. It was Jin confirming a meeting at 10. He replied OK and went back to looking at his screen .

Rose couldn't read for crying.  She was angry at herself  for crying because it meant she couldn't read the last email again.  She was even secretly a little angry at the baby.  This would be a dream come true except for the baby , but then she felt so guilty she cried some more saying sorry over and over .

Her mum heard her for the 4th or 5th time that day and decided enough was enough . She walked straight in to Rose's room and held her arms out as she sat on the bed next to her  " cry now my baby , but then stop.  No man is worth your tears and when you're upset so is  your baby " this made Rose stop as best she could " its the babies fault I'm crying. It's taken my hormones and is playing jenga with them ." she hiccuped but smiled at her mum,  "every time the blocks fall down I cry "

Poor Rm had to leave for his meeting with out a reply from Rose. The frustration was real and every one sensed his mood enough to let him be for most of the rest of the day.