Conflicted (Boyxboy)

85

"Chester..." I looked up at him in concern, swallowing hard in the slightly tense atmosphere.

He just chuckled at me, amused. "I don't care about that sort of thing." He reassured me when I continued to look kind of guilty.

I just frowned at him, making him raise a brow at me. "Don't look a me like that. I don't see you in a relationship with your first time." He commented and I sighed.

"Well I didn't exactly have a choice who my first time was, you did." I complained and his expression became serious. "And how the fuck did you stay a virgin for 24 years that some crazy shit right there." I ranted with a smirk but he just stared at me seriously.

"Your first time...wasn't consensual?" He asked quietly and I rolled my eyes.

"A whole lot more than my first time wasn't consensual, shit happens, stop avoiding the subject. Why the fuck did you stay a virgin for so long? Why didn't you tell me?? How??" I persisted as he unplugged the bath, before turning back to face me.

"I was never interested, that sort of stuff just gets in the way of my work. Plus I never really met anyone, and I wasn't about to go out searching so..." He explained, still frowning at me unhappily.

"What the hell changed your mind?"

"Well I couldn't exactly avoid you, nor was I experienced in ignoring sexual attraction, so I didn't hold myself back very well...sorry."

"I'm confused...you didn't seem like a virgin." I complained and he smirked.

"Well I always knew I was gay, it's not like I didn't have any sexual frustrations, so I solved them using the internet." He quirked an eyebrow at me and I smirked.

"Ugh, I feel bad." I admitted, resting my forehead against his chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't. You're making a big deal out of nothing." He said as he turned on the shower, making me jump slightly as the slightly cold water hit my warm skin.

I sighed as he rubbed my back slightly, looking up after a few moments to see him just staring at the floor with an upset expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worrying that he was actually upset about this whole situation.

"What happened...?" He asked quietly, and I frowned.

"What?"

"Your first time..." He said, looking at me briefly. I sighed and pushed away from him.

"Nothing important." I brushed off as I turned my back to him, but he pulled me back towards him, I gripped his arms around my waist as he nuzzled the back of my neck.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. But have you ever talked about it before, you know, to a professional?" He questioned and I bit my lip.

"No, I never told anyone about it. Well, until recently, Luca's a curious bastard." I smirked to myself and Chester's grip tightened around my waist.

"It's better to talk about it, it hurts less the more you do." He said, and I turned my head slightly to look at him.

"Really? How would you know that, huh?" I asked with a raised brow and he sighed.

"Experience, I had a friend who went through the same." He explained and I smiled sadly at him. "You don't have to say anything, I just thought, maybe it would help." He muttered awkwardly like he thought he had offended me and I smirked.

"It's fine." I brushed him off and he made an awkward face.

"You always talk about things in your past like they're no big deal, yet right now when it's just us two, you can't seem to talk about it. I think you're more affected by it than you actually realize. And when you do talk about it, one day, if ever, it'll all come crashing down and you'll need some help to get through it." He ranted and I started chuckling.