Conflicted (Boyxboy)

89

T.W

Prepare yourselves for this dramatic chapter.

I sat in my room and glared at the pictures on my wall. I hate my family,  why did I have to be born in it? I'd trade all the money in the world, for just a nice family.

At least I can try my best not to turn out like them, so I have to do this for Erin.

I have to tell myself that one day, I'll find the perfect guy,  and find the perfect place to live with them happily. And we'll be really good people, with some kind of charity. And lots of animals. And fields. And green grass.

That's what I used to imagine, back in California, I told myself that I'd get out of this mess, that he wouldn't end up killing me, and I'd find someone who was gentle, who wanted to be beside me, and didn't mind if I didn't give them anything else apart from my love and company.

I sighed before standing up and walking out of my room, planning to wonder around for a bit.

I jumped when I bumped into Alex, and he sniffled before looking up at me. Has he been crying?

"Are you okay?" I asked and he forced a chuckle.

"Uh, yeah..." He frowned. "I mean, no... it doesn't matter though."

"Seriously? Tell me what's wrong, did something happen?"

"No, it's just, well I was arguing with Nate and Hunter, and it got a bit heated, and personal."

"Oh, they made you cry, that's harsh."

"Well, they didn't know I was upset, but it all kind of built up you know." He took in a breath. "We've been a bit distant from each other lately, we used to be good friends."

"What happened?"

"Um...nothing."

"Alex?"

"...You did, sorry." His words stung like a snake bite, and I gulped.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault! We've all been a bit snappy with each other, change is hard, you know?"

I looked down at my feet guiltily.

"Don't be angry or anything, I started the argument so it's my fault. I just wasn't ready to finish it. I've kind of been hanging around you a lot, so I guess I just got a bit...how do I put this, possessive." He blushed and I raised a brow. "They didn't like that very much, so now I've fallen out with them, and I feel like shit. I miss how it used to be."

I sighed and looked at him sadly.

"I'm sorry Riley, it isn't your fault at all, my problems are nothing compared to yours, but, it still hurts, and I still want to do something about it." He looked behind him when he heard a door shutting. "I think it's best if I don't fan the flames, so..." He just walked off and I blinked after him.

What, does that mean he's going to avoid me now? Are you serious?

Okay, fine.

Whatever.

I sighed in frustration and just carried on walking, heading downstairs and outside.

I went and sat on the fence to Patty's pasture, watching Caleb as he was sitting among the horses feeding them grass.

Can I seriously not be around any of them without them getting jealous? If I go talk to Caleb right now, will that just make things worse for him?

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose.