Liz Gillies Requests

Lost (Liz&Michael)

She felt sick. Sick to her stomach. How could she have been so stupid?

Liz had been randomly anxious since the night before and it seemed to peak the next morning, when she woke in such a state that she asked Michael to leave the house.

"I need to be on my own." Liz had said and although Michael didn't totally understand, he respected her wish and took the dogs out for a long walk.

Relieved to be alone for a while, Liz had a relaxing shower and got herself ready for the day. Cooking had always been a form of therapy to her and so she decided to bake cookies and while they were in the oven, she sat herself in front of the piano in their home studio.

Two songs in and Liz was feeling calmer than earlier. Until she looked down at her hands.

Her engagement ring.

Her wedding band.

Both missing.

"Oh fuck!" Liz exclaimed, immediately standing up from the piano stool and rushing out of the studio in the basement and upstairs.

Her eyes scanned each room frantically as she searched everywhere in the house, with no luck. The longer she looked, the more panicked she became. At last resort, Liz decided the most effective way to look for her rings was to wreck their closet. So she did.

Ignoring the shaking in her hands, she threw jeans, dresses, pantsuits and sweaters across the large closet, with the thought that her rings could have slipped off when she was choosing her outfit that morning.

Anxiety rushed over Liz in violent waves and she realised that the impending sense of constant fear that was hovering over her throughout the last couple of weeks, was leading to this. A panic attack. A worse than usual panic attack.

Curses slipped from her mouth as she tore clothes down from every rail and shelf in the closet, throwing them to the floor in a haste. Her head was spinning and she had to grab the edge of the glass island to keep herself from falling in amidst her dizziness.

"I'm home!"

"Fuck!" Liz yelps in surprise, anticipating Michael's reaction and being totally unable to rationalise those thoughts.

"Liz, where are you?" Michael calls out.

Liz scrambles to make everything look as normal as possible, which fails drastically. Kicking the clothes into piles, Liz desperately tried to slow her heavy breathing.

She could feel the tears streaming down her face and a quick glance in the mirror proved there was no way to hide the mascara waterfalls cascading down her cheeks, nor her racing heartbeat and out of control breathing.

"Are you in the bedroom? What are you doing in the closet?" Michael chuckles as he approaches the closed door.

"Don't come in!" Liz yells and the sheer tone and volume shocks Michael.

"Why? What are you doing in there?" Michael asks suggestively as he hears her shuffling around.

"Go away, Michael!" Liz yells but her voice breaks and it's a dead giveaway that something is wrong, and she hates herself for it.

The breathing that she had started to control had now skyrocketed and her hands were clammy with nerves as her body trembled. Still she attempted to clear the space by pushing clothes and bags and shoes away to the corners of the room but she was unsuccessful since the shaking in her limbs made it totally impossible to do anything.

"Babe, what's going on? I'm a little worried." Michael asks, knocking softly on the door.

"No!" Liz barks and it's so unlike his Liz to behave in this way that he ignores her orders and opens the closet door.

Liz is holding tightly onto the glass island trying to keep herself standing as her head races. She briefly registers Michael is now in the room with her but it's a struggle to see him what with the clouding in her eyes.

"Hey, it's alright. Let's sit. I'm here for you."

Recognising this erratic behaviour as a panic attack, gently Michael takes her wrists and guides her to sit on the floor with him between the mess of clothes. He's done this before and he knows he's good at it - at calming her anxiety. Although this looks like a particularly strong panic attack and it might take more work than Michael initially thought.

"I can't." She's clutching her chest so tightly, unable to say anymore.

"Squeeze my hand, not your body. We don't need you hurting yourself, do we?" Michael speaks softly as he takes her hand away from herself and into his own.

"Deep and slow breathing. Let's do it together." Michael suggests and Liz nods. "In for 2, out for 2."

"In for 2, out for 4."

"In for 4, out for 6."

She splutters at that one and Michael waits patiently for her to stop coughing before they go back to the beginning of the exercise. By the time they get to 8, Liz has some colour to her face and breathing isn't such a struggle.

"I'm so proud of you, Liz. Do you want to tell me what started this?" Michael asks and instantly regrets it as Liz's breathing speeds up again. "There's no rush. Nice and easy, soft and slow."

Once her chest isn't so tight, Liz takes the deepest breath possible and prepares herself to tell him what's wrong.

"I... I umm, L-lost my ring." Liz stutters, eyes focused on the floor in front of her.

"Which one?" Michael asks and in her panicked state, Liz mistakes his confusion for anger.

"M-my engagement ring and my wedding band. Michael I'm so sorry!" She blurts out, not baring to even look at him.

She knows exactly how he's feeling. He's so disappointed in her. He's angry at her. He's ashamed of her. He's shocked by her carelessness. He doesn't even want to be around her.

Simply, Michael laughs and wraps his arms around her.

"Why are you laughing?" Liz asks, voice shaking.

"I saw your rings on the kitchen counter this morning and I moved them to a safe space." Michael chuckles, stroking over her hair.

"What?"

"Is that why you've been panicking?" Michael asks.

"Well... yeah." Liz nods, still a bit taken aback by his reaction.

"Aw babe." Michael laughs sympathetically, kissing her cheek.

"I thought I'd lost them!" Liz exclaims.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you I moved them this morning." Michael says softly.

"Where are they?" Liz asks, her heart rate finally slowing down.

"They're on my chest of drawers in the little dish. I should have told you." Michael says, hugging her as she snuggles her head into his chest.

"It's my fault. I got caught up cooking and left them in the kitchen." Liz says.

"It doesn't matter now. And I hope you know that even if you did lose your rings, it would be okay." Michael assured her.

"Really?" Liz asks, looking up at him from her place rested on his chest.

"Of course, Liz. Is there anything else you need?" Michael asks gently.

"Just to stay here." Liz nuzzles her head further on his chest and Michael says nothing but strokes her hair.