hard to get | baylor (completed)

second thoughts

time Jump | 3 Months Later

I ran my hand through my hair as I sat down on the couch. I haven't seen Fergal in 3 Months and I just feel so alone. The girls would come and help me but it wasn't the same. I just wanted Fergal to be apart of our baby's life. But that didn't seem like it's gonna happen.

"I wish your Daddy was here baby. But I fucked it up. I fucked up so bad. And you don't deserve that. I'm so sorry."

I said as I ran my hand over my tiny bump. I decided not to find out the gender until Fergal decides if he wants to be in the baby's life or not. I understand not wanting to be with me...but this is his child. I wiped my tears off my face as I heard my phone ring.

"Hey Mercy."

I sniffled as I answered the phone.

"Hey Pam. Have you been crying again?"

Mercades asked.

"Maybe."

"Pam, you need to stop crying over him. You did nothing wrong and he left you. Get over him."

"I can't just get over him. Not when I'm pregnant with his kid! You know Mercy...I don't think I can do this anymore."

I said as tears fell down my face.

"Do what anymore?"

"Have this baby. It's been three months! He clearly doesn't want it or me. I wonder if it's too late to...you know."

"You aren't getting an abortion Pam. Listen, just because Fergal isn't in the picture, doesn't mean you won't be the most amazing Mom ever. Does your family know?"

"No. I haven't talked to them since Brenda's wedding."

"Go see them then. Fly out to San Jose and just be with your family. They can help you figure this thing out."

Mercades said. I must admit, it's a good idea. It might even get my mind off of Fergal for right now.

"I think that's what I'm going to do. And I'm going to stop by the doctors and find out the gender. If Fergal isn't going to be there, that doesn't mean I should miss out on not enjoying this pregnancy. I'll talk to you soon Mercy."

"Okay."

She said as she hung up. I stood up and walked over to the mirror.

"We're going to San Jose little one. I hope you're excited."

I said as I wrapped my arms around my stomach. This trip will do good for me. And I'll definitely get to clear my head.