hard to get | baylor (completed)

mental breakdown

I wiped my tears as I grabbed Kaileah's car seat and my suitcase. My whole flight I was just sobbing. My heart is shattered. I never thought that my life would end up like this. And I'm just regretting everything I did these last few years.

"Hello Pamela."

My Mom said as she hugged me.

"Hi."

I sniffled.

"Sweetheart what's wrong?"

She asked me as she took my suitcase and Kai's car seat from me.

"Fergal showed up at Mercades' house and demanded to see Kaileah. Then he basically told me that he never wanted her. I can't do this anymore Mom. I should've just put her up for adoption. I can't give her the life she deserves and neither can Fergal. We can't stand to be around each other. She deserves parents who love each other and her and I just can't give her what she deserves."

I sobbed.

"Well, Whatever you decide to do, I'm behind you 100%. We can always look at adopting if you want to go that way. Kaileah knows you love her and that you're only trying to give her the best life."

My Mom said as I nodded. At least I had one supportive person to help me with Kaileah. Once Kaileah and I got settled in, I got a call from Mercades.

"Hey Mercy. What's up?"

I sniffled.

"Um, Pam? I have something to tell you."

Mercades said.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

"Once you left...Fergal dropped off custody papers. He's taking you to court for custody of Kaileah."

Mercades said. My heart broke in millions of tiny pieces. I immediately hung up and tossed my phone across the room. I started pacing the room as I continuing sobbing.

"Pam? Are you okay?"

My Mom asked as she opened the door to my room. Once she saw me crying, she immediately wrapped me up into a hug.

"He's taking me for custody for the daughter he never wanted! I can't do this anymore. I'm so sick of living this life of heartbreak. I never get any good in my life! First he fucking tells me that he only gets with me because of a bet, then he cheats on me, and then we lose our kids, and then he tells me he can't trust me, and finally he takes me to court for the baby he didn't even want!"

I screamed as I slammed my fist through the wall.

"Pamela, calm down."

My Mom said.

"No. I can't live like this anymore. I'm fucking done."

I said as I walked out of my room and headed towards the balcony.

"Pam, please don't do this."

My Mom said as I hopped over the rail of the balcony.

"Just tell Kai that at least one of her parents loved her with all of their heart."

I said before hopping off the balcony.