30-Something Reality

Friendship, Loyalty, & Love...

 nbvcxzoiuyJARED'S P.O.V.

Siren and I made no mistake, we loved each other but had never said we weren't in love with Shannon and Jeanette respectively... Emma had came over a few times to check on Siren. She was going to come by later on today to take her to a Doctor's appointment. Siren had gotten dressed and checked her phone. She had 9 missed calls, 13 text messages and 5 voice mails... I heard her sigh and saw her turn her phone off...

I came over and slid my arms around her from behind as I lay my chin on her right shoulder.  She laced her fingers into mine and lean back into me. "I do love you Jared... I don't know if it is the way we should love each other... But some how it works..." Siren turned around and slowly slid her fingers up my cut out tshirt, lightly touching my skin... Her touch made me crazy... She put her arms around the back of my neck and looked me in the eyes... "Thank you for being there for us.... I don't know what I would do with you in my life" She pulled me down to her and kissed me.

She was sexy when she was being assertive with me. I liked it! I pull back and just smile as I watch her staring at me running her fingers through my hair. She knew it drove me crazy.... 

"Let me take you to the Doctor... Let me be there when they show you Connie again.." I put my left hand on Connie, and my right hand on Siren's face.... "I know I'm not her father... But I'm pretty sure I'm her God Father..." I smiled, so did she...

I loved her dimples when she smiled... It lit her eyes up. Today they looked almost completely gray... It made me get lost... Now I think I knew how she felt with me and Shannon... I did the same thing with Jeanette.... I missed the way her eyes popped out when she would wear black... her blond hair that fell over her shoulders... Her curves... I had to stop... She SLEPT with SHANNON! Drunk or not... Seriously!

I took a deep breath and backed away from Siren for a minute... I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed as I sat on the bed...  Siren came over and sat next to me... She took my hand and lay her head on my shoulder. "Sucks doesn't it... I miss the way Shannon would kiss Connie every morning. And tell her Daddy loved her. Then he would come up and kiss me and tell me he loved me." She wiped a tear away that ran down her face.

"Jeanette would slide her hand into mine and then snuggle into my arms and say '15 more minutes baby....' and we would end up... well... " I broke.... 

"Jared are we making the right decision? We have been desperately hurt and are we thinking clearly?" Siren looked up at me and I didn't have a choice but to look her in the eyes...  We both felt so lost...

"I don't know, so until we know how this is going to play out, I want to be with you." I took her hands in mine and turned to face her. "I meant what I said, I want to marry you. Shannon has until your daughter is 1. If he hasn't figured his shit out before then, and Jeanette and I haven't talked things out... I'll marry you with the whole nine yards! No regrets and I will never look back... If for some reason I can forgive Jeanette, if she even wants to be, or even wants me back.... in time I will talk to her... and figure out what will happen... EITHER WAY! If she hasn't gotten her shit together..." I put my hands on her stomach, "I'll adopt her. I'll be her father! If you will let me. Please say you will... " I was scared as shit! "Until then, you are my woman, I'll put a ring on your hand as a symbol of what ever the fuck you call us... " I chuckled...

"It won't be an engagement ring... I know you're Irish, and proud  of your heritage... I'll get you a Claddagh... The next time we go to Ireland... That will be my promise to you, that we will Loyal to ourselves and each other.... That the way we love each other is always  enough to get through the outside noise, but Love is what we have to be Loyal to when it comes to them... if things work out then they do, if not... our Love is enough... because above all, we are friends... BEST friends.... Loyal friends.... Friends that love each other for what they are...Nothing more, nothing less...." I saw her smile a genuine smile and I leaned in and kissed her... "Deal Sweets?"

"Deal..." I kissed her as soon as she said the word. She giggled... "You know that silly beard of yours tickles when you kiss me... It drives me crazy... and not always in a good way dang it!" She stuck her tongue out at me! 

"Siren... Now don't to that I might have to punish you!" I shook my finger at her like I was scolding her.... I smiled as I watched her lick her teeth...  

"I'll be glad to let you come to the Doctor's with me... You just have to call Emma... And! I want to go with you tomorrow to the sound check before the show... He has a right to watch you see your God Daughter in your own sonogram photos... I also will have to give him a copy... And even with LoLa coming back in the morning, I'm not going to be able to handle seeing either of them alone." She looked down like she was ashamed... "We've made our own mistake that first night, But I don't regret anything between us either... And I want to be with you until this shit gets figured out too... I know it's not normal, but neither are we. You're my best friend, closer to me than Jeanette ever was... and to be honest, sometimes closer than Shannon." 

That hurt her to say, I saw that.... "I know.... But I'm not him, and that is okay... I'm not trying to replace him... I want to take care of you because I care for you in my own way... And I refuse to let your daughter grow up with out a father who is there for her when she needs him." I pulled her into my arms... "Do I want you and my brother happy... Honestly, yes... But I am going to be selfish, I want you in my life... We have something special and I like it..." 

"You got me there! You bring out the kink in me.. And I like it!" She laughed and kissed me... Before I knew it she was on top of me and kissing me...

Wraping my arms around her I had to pull her away.... "Promise me no matter what we will always be best friends in the end of this...."

"Jared!" Siren smiled as she kissed me with her eyes OPEN! "I swear, no matter what, we will ALWAYS be best friends... As long as you trim the beard..." She laughed as she kissed me again... I was done... I was still in love with Jeanette, I knew that! But I had something for Siren that just made me feel at peace...