30-Something Reality

Hurricane...

Constance, Jared, and I all arrive at the hospital... I sit in the waiting aread and just stare at the floor. I had LoLa at my side, but it wasn't helping....

Jared came out and pulled my hands into his.... "It's not good babe..." Jared just stared at me... I couldn't make a sound...  "He took a turn too fast coming to meet us at the doctor and spun out... Do you want to see him?"

"Jared... What if he doesn't make it...." I finally managed to blurt out as I burst into tears... 

"Baby, if he hadn't had his helmet on he wouldn't have survived the impact...They said it looked like he laid it down almost like the Hurricane video... except he hit his head when he rolled..."

"He wouldn't want me in there Jared... I've hurt him so bad... It's my fault he wasn't there in the first place... If I..." Jared stopped me when he put his finger over my lips.... I just cried as he sat next to me and pulled me into his arms... 

"You may be the only thing that saves him... Mom said Jeanette left this morning and since her flight hasn't landed yet, she hasn't been able to get a hold of her." Jared held me closer than ever. "Don't make any rash moves Siren... He needs all of us to stay strong..." 

"Can I please see him?" I whimpered.

"He doesn't look good, I need you to know he's hooked up worse than you were in Detroit." Jared and I got up and LoLa followed.... I had put her little "boots" on her so when she came into the hospital she wouldn't cause anyone any problems... The nurses were more than happy to watch her at the desk.... Jared was keeping a close eye on me if he needed to get me out to her.

Jared brought me in to Shannon's room... I could hear the monitors and machines but all I could do was see him laying there... Constance stood up and brought me over and sat me next to him... His left forearm was in a cast up to his knuckles. There were tubes everywhere... Lines... IV's.... He had a black eye on the left side and a massive bandage around his left shoulder... His left leg was in a sling but apparently not broken. 

Jared pulled up another chair and sat next to me as the nurse brought another one for Constance for Shannon's right side... She took his hand into hers and softly whispered to her son... "You are stubborn Shannon... Now it's time for you to prove it! We're going to sit here and wait for you to wake up. And Connie's going to be here soon... So you have to wake up and meet your daughter when she gets here..."

I couldn't hold back anymore and Jared just grabbed me and held me as I cried... 

"You're not going to like what they found in his hand..." Jared pulled out a scuffed up round box about the size of a pill box. It was black velvet... I knew what was inside... I got up and flew out of the room for LoLa... As I heard Jared say... "I will keep to my word to Siren... But as much as we both love each other... I think we both realize we also both love him more...."

***********

I held on to LoLa in another room and just cried... The nurses had closed the door to let me be alone. Suddenly I hear a knock at the door and see Emma come in. 

"How are you holding up?" She came over pet LoLa and sit next to me.

"I'm not! I'm a wreck!" I blubbered... "I HATE Valentine's Day..."

"Today is deffinately not a good day is it?" Emma puts her arm around me. I put my left hand up to pet LoLa as she licked my face... I didn't even think... "PLEASE tell me that Jared didn't give you that!" I hear Emma exclaim.

I just looked at my hand and cried.... "Emma, what the hell happened? How the FUCK did all this end up this way? Shannon and I were happy! Then all this SHIT happened... Now Jared and I are together, my sister-slash-ex-girlfriend is M.I.A. still at this point... She WON'T call any of us back... And the father of my child, the first man I fell completely in love with, with NO reservations..." I almost chuckled this sarcastic laugh... "He's in laying in there, in a coma, all beacuse I wasn't able to just let him explain why he was trying to surprise me with a nursery for OUR daughter.... and some stupid ass man had to track me down... and then JARED! What the FUCK am I going to do Emma? I love him! And I didn't think someone could put up with the shit I have put him through for Shannon.... I finally let him in completely, and now it might cost him his brother! And Shannon doesn't even know Jared and I..."

"Shhhhh... You're panicing and it's not good for Connie... You're going to send yourself into early labor, and what good is that going to do? Then how is this going to get fixed?" Emma just tried to calm me down.... I was crying all over again.... 

Just then I feel Jared pull me away from Emma and into his arms... "Emma go check on mom and take her and get her some food.... Tell her Siren and I are going to stay with Shannon.... Siren needs to be with him.... For Connie's sake... She needs to see him, be near him... I'm not leaving her side or his... He's my brother, and...." Jared got quiet... "Until she tells me otherwise..." He kissed me on the head and helped me stand up... "Siren will be my wife..."

We walk back into Shannon's room and Constance and Emma head towards the door as Jared sits me down on Shannon's right side... I take his hand in mine and lay my head on his hand as I hold it in mine....

"Jared are you seriously worried about that over Shannon?" Emma snapped at him as they stood by the door to Shannon's room.

"No... But I'm not going to let anything else be fucked up because someone doesn't know how someone else feels.... No more secrets... No more bull shit.... Look what's happened! The four of us are FUCKED up! Siren tried to push us away from day ONE for this shit! Now she's in the middle of it all... And I'm not going to let her EVER think she is alone!" Jared tore into Emma.... "You're one of my best friends Emma, you should KNOW I want my brother to make it.... This is KILLING me! But I'm not the only one who is hurting.... I see how she feels... " Jared pointed at me as I just watch the machines breathing for Shannon...  "Look at her! She is destroyed! Just as bad as he was when she was in the hospital in Detroit! IF not worse! But if for some reason when he wakes up, Connie is born... and all this shit blows over with Jeanette, and she comes back.... IF Siren still wants me... I won't turn her away..."

I hear their conversation soften as I listen to Shannon's heart beat on the monitors.... I remember how it used to sound after a show and we would snuggle on the way back to the hotel...

"Shannon..." I whisper... "You have to come back to me... Connie and I need you Bear... Please.... Don't give up just yet... Show your mom and your brother how stubborn you are... Please come back... I can't raise Connie with out you...." I slowly cry myself to sleep holding Shannon's hand and listening to the monitors beep.