30-Something Reality

Opening Up...

SHANNON's P.O.V.

I see Siren crying on the wall as she slides down I realize she was more light headed than I thought... I FUCKED up! I sent her over the edge... She was in a full blown panic attack when she stood up too quick! I see her eyes fading and I lay Connie on the bed in the pillows and since I was done PT thankfully was in normal clothes and could get down to her.

"What happened Shannon?" Vickie screams as her and my mother come in with Tomo and LoLa in tow... 

I pull her into my arms.. I hear Connie start to fuss as my mother picks her up... I whisper in Siren's ear..."I've got you, always have, always will... I'm not going anywhere!"

"Jared?" I hear her mutter.

"Someone get a doctor..." I look over at Tomo and Vickie... "Mom get Connie and take her to Jared! Siren I've got you... It's Shannon, come on baby... hang in there..."

I hear Mom on the phone... "Get to the hospital... NOW!"

The doctor comes in and brings smelling salts and oxygen. Tomo tries to take Siren from my arms, the look I shoot him makes him back down! I'm not letting her out of my arms until she pushes me away. I'm going to show her it wasn't my brother that was there when she needed someone. Even if I was the reason she paniced... I felt horrible, I had to make it up to her by not leaving her side now!

Siren started to come around and she looks up at me... I am in pain from moving too quick, she looked so lost again. I knew I had gone too far!

"Shannon?" I see her eyes fill with fear! "What did I do? Why are you out of bed? Did I get up too quick?" She started to struggle to get up.

Just then Jared comes flying through the door with Jeanette... "What the hell happened? Siren... baby... Are you okay? What did you do?!" Jared pulled her to him as the doctor just quietly left the room after finishing her vitals and talking to my mother... 

"He didn't do anything Jared..." She curled up in his arms.

"What do you remember?" Jared looked at her as he touched her face. I wanted to hit him!

"Shannon and I were talking and he was holding Connie... WAIT!" She started to panic again.

"She's fine.... Did Shannon do something to upset you?" My brother glared at me...

"No! We were talking and I was going to get something I think... and just got up to fast..." Siren was either lying or didn't remember! "Why do you two always think the other is up to something!?" Siren pushed Jared away and Jeanette helped her up... "Should I even think that we are still going to have lunch now? Or am I on bed rest again?" Siren sounded pissed. I couldn't tell why... She turned to me... "Shannon, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you get out of bed... I remember we were talking... I would like to finish our conversation! Then I guess I have to head back to the apartment and take a nap... I'm REALLY sleep deprived!" She chuckled...

"Being a new mom will do that to you!" I laughed as I climbed back in bed. "I can only imagine you REALLY aren't going to let her sleep in my room when I get there are you?"

Siren looked over at me and smiled... "That's why I stayed with you those few days Shannon... She came back over and sat next to my bed. She took my right hand in hers... You're still a part of me Shann, you're my daughter's father... And the one person that has knocked down walls that had been up for years Shannon. Besides... It wouldn't be the same if you weren't here." She let a tear fall... "I never said I hated you! I just..." 

"Siren... It's okay... I know..." It felt like there was only me and her in the room... She lay her head on my arm and drifted off to sleep. "Jared, I swear to you..."

"Save it Shannon..." Jared snapped... "I know what happened... She got overwhelmed, she's not sleeping... She's doing everything herself... She won't let me help her... She won't let ANY of us help her... She's not fully sleeping, everything makes her jump at night..." Jared stood over her and just watched her sleep holding my hand.. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I snapped at Jeanette earlier. I'm watching her fall apart at the seems!"

"She's terrified Jared!" Jeanette steps over as she gets to feed Connie.

"Do you think it will help when Shannon comes home tomorrow?" Tomo stands by the wall with Vickie in his arms.

"How about today?" My mother slides back in the room... "The doctors said you can go home to help her. They saw your determination Shannon, and they see she needs you. So they are releasing you now. Grab his stuff Tomo..."

"Don't wake her just yet though please... I haven't seen her sleep this peacfully since before Allan found her. She may love me, but Shannon is her rock... And yes, that hurts Shannon... More than you know!"

My brother looked crushed as he watched the woman we both loved sleep like our daughter did in her arms as she was croled around my right arm and our hands locked together.

"She's still yours Jared... Trust me on that one... I don't know if I can save that piece of her heart... She called our your name when I grabbed her. Not mine..." I watched her as she snuggled down on my arm. "I may still hold a piece of her heart, but you hold the key to it... I have clearly lost that..."

"No, you didnt man... We each have a key... I just don't know which one of us she's changed the locks on..." Jared looked over at Jeanette and took a deep breath... "This entire thing is a mess..."

Vickie laughed! Jeanette smiled and then chuckled...Siren slept... My mother just leaned up against the wall and laughed... Siren slept... Tomo just laughed ... Siren slept... Jared and I looked at each other and chuckled... Then we both looked at her... Jeanette handed Connie to Jared....

I spoke softly... "Siren, what's going on in that mysterious mind of yours?" She smiled and slept on for another 45 minutes as we all just enjoyed watching Connie be passed around and decided to order lunch to have back at the house. Siren needed to rest, and I was going to help Jared make sure that happened... I was able to walk around better and just had the soft cast on my left wrist now. That would stay on for a few more weeks.. But I would be able to help her with our daughter and maybe get her through this hell she was going through in her mind.

Jared and I agreed that neither of us would push her.... He would stand by her until she told him other wise but he was slowing things down even further... He hadn't seen how lost she had gotten until it was too late... I had to tell him about the kiss... He wasn't happy! But he knew it was going to happen... Jeanette and him had talked themselves... and things were all out on the table... Jared seemed so torn. I hadn't seen my brother this destraught in a long time. He loved Siren more than I realized... He was so shaken by her sleeping so peacefully until it was time to get home...

Jared looked scared to wake her... He leaned over just softly touched her face... She slowly opened her eyes... She looked up and smiled at him. That smile killed me. She slowly raised her head, I held her hand and helped her with my left hand not to move to fast... She looked up and her eyes met mine... She still didn't remember that kiss... I could see it in her eyes... She still belonged to him. No matter how much it hurt her. I could see she still loved me. I was close to breaking through, but she was holding on to him for dear life. I could see it now... She was terrified to let me back in. She blocked out that kiss for a reason... Her deffences were up.... I shot Jared a look and he knew not to say a word unless she did... He knew in the way she looked at him she didn't remember. He was happy to let her forget!