30-Something Reality

Taking It Slow

JARED's P.O.V.

I still hadn't figured out what to do for Siren for her birthday, the homecoming party was suposed to be for her, Connie, and Shannon. But I didn't know what to do for my girlfriend's birthday! I wanted to take her on a romantic drive, have dinner and flowers waiting on the beach for us. Somewhere no one could find us. Just spending some time with her alone. But I knew that would make things harder for us not to want to push things faster between us. And I couldn't let that happen, no matter HOW bad we wanted it.

Shannon would be coming home from the hospital the next day and moving in with Siren. I knew it would be hell if he and I had to stare at each other every day knowing that I was laying next to her in bed every night. Maybe the idea I had brewing would help... I pulled Jeanette aside after breakfast, "I need to talk to you for a few minutes please..."

"Of course! Is everything okay?" She looked worried...

"Just come with me...." I went over and kissed Connie as she lay in Siren's arms asleep. I looked at Siren and kissed her lips softly, "I'll be right back baby, I need to talk to Jeanette. Will you be okay? Do you want me to get Tomo?"

Siren smiled for the first time since she came home. It looked like she was finally setting in to being a mother again. She hadn't let me help her in the middle of the night except if she had problems getting out of bed. Other wise she was doing everything! I was proud of her, she kept reminding herself of where she was, and that she was here, with me... It made me smile when she would look over and tell Connie how much we both loved her, and how happy her daddy would be to be home and hold her!

"Actually Jared, your mom was wondering if I felt strong enough to take Connie down to see Shannon. Would you mind if I went to see him? I think he would like to see his daughter before he comes home. It may even help make him stronger! I know she does me..." Siren looked down and just smiled as she looked into her daughter's face as she slept.

"I don't mind at all! Shall we all meet up for lunch then? I'll bring Jeanette and you and mom can meet up with us when you are done at the hospital." I was surprised at how she was handling today... She hadn't gotten much sleep last night between taking care of Connie and her tossing and turning. I was worried about her, "You don't have to if you don't want to."

Siren looked up at me and smiled. Her eyes twinkled to me this morning. More blue than ever! She lay her right hand on my face, "Jared, I'll be fine. I feel better than I have in a while... And it's because of you! I love you, I'll be fine, thank you for so being so sweet and worrying about me." Siren leaned up and kissed me.

I couldn't believe she was being so calm. It was like a side of her I had never seen. It gave me hope.that maybe everything was really going to be okay! I know it probably killed Jeanette seeing her sister and I talk the way we do, and that kiss wasn't just a simple peck. I felt bad for hurting Jeanette, but I had told her and Shannon both that we weren't going to hide our relationship.

I smiled and kissed Connie one more time..."I love both of you!" With that I turned around and walked over to the door where Jeanette was already standing. "Ready?" I stuck my ball cap on the Siren had gotten me on head, left my hair down and threw my shades on. The ball cap was black and had dark grey camo on it. Since I was wearing a black flannel shirt and jeans, I knew it would help me blend in a bit better.

Jeanette and I headed down to the stairwell... She suddenly stopped! "Can we take the elevator?"

I took my hand off the door handle and shuttered to wonder why she wouldn't want to take the stairs... "Sure...So... Siren's birthday is the day after tomorrow, and I haven't a clue what to do! I was thinking of throwing a surpise party with just a few of us. Or I could just make dinner and bring her and Connie over for a couple of hours to my house. But that would leave Shannon alone in the apartment... So that's not such a good idea either! But I can't exactly do something sweet for her with my brother sitting there staring at us... And I can't do that to you either! It's just not right... Why am I even asking you...." We finally got in my truck and I just wanted to smack myself! "I'm sorry Jeanette... That was very rude of me."

"No Jared, you're fine. I understand you love her. I completely understand! That is why I left... I had to let her go! I know the power she holds on someone. I'll wait!" Jeanette seemed a little sure of herself!

"You act like it was easy! It cost you a lot more than you realized at first, not to mention us..." I stuck my foot in my mouth with that one! "Sorry... That was harsh. But you act like I'm looking to get over her, I'm NOT! I love her! And yes, I still have feelings for you, STRONG feelings! I can't deny that I love Siren! I'm in love with her! I wouldn't have asked her to marry me in the first place if she didn't make me happy! It's easy with her... I've tried to explain it to Shannon..."

"Jared, you act like I wasn't in love with her for almost ten years!" Jeanette snapped at me. "It cost me our son! And two different men I could have spent the rest of my life with! One I burried, the other I'm doomed to watch make my sister happier than I ever could! But here is the thing Jared that maybe even  you seem to forget. I saw her with Shannon too... And honestly Jared, she was happy with him too! Happier than I have ever seen her! And I've known her since she was nine! We were best friends, then when we were in highschool, we fell in love. College was heaven till our parents got married. Then Allan... Loosing Joshua was the worst day of our lives. I've never seen her smile the way she did when she..."

"Was with Shannon?!" I snapped! I had heard enough! "If she was so happy with him and he was so happy with her, then why is it ME in her bed? Why is it ME who built her up enough to let go of the pain Shannon put her through? Why did I have to put her back together when both YOU AND SHANNON weren't there for her when she needed you the most?! Do either of you get how destroyed she was? Yeah, I know she loves Shannon! But couldn't she and I actually love each other enough to be just as happy?"

"So why didn't you ever mark me the way you did her?" I almost didn't think I heard Jeanette ACTUALLY ask me that!

"You seriously just asked me that! You wanted me to be rough with you? Why didn't you EVER say anything!" I was sure she liked the kinky stuff but I didn't know she wanted it down and dirty style rough! "That didn't fit your personality! You were always so fucking proper! And I never MEANT to mark her! But it ended up happening! And I won't appologize for it! She is my girlfriend! And until either you or Shannon prove to us that it's wrong... I'm not letting her go! And in six months, I'll marry her! And you and Shannon will have to get used to the fact she will be MY wife! Until then, I'm taking things slow... It's torturous, but I promised she and I wouldn't be together again until she and I were married. Why would I wait to be with her again if she wasn't worth it? And to make sure we were actually in love with each other instead of just being based on sex?"

"Jared, you are the KING of sex! Why would you wait?" Jeanette came back at me. "You and I didn't wait!"

"We will if we end up trying to work things out! I've NEVER said I've completely ruled out the fact that you and I could work things out! But you have to remember, you pulled away from me! So why would I risk getting shot down again?! And if we do get back together, we WILL wait! I'm not going to risk fucking things up again either way this plays out! So don't give me that shit either! And now that you told me your dark little perverted side... I would be careful how you let things come out of your mouth, cause I will make you regret telling me darkest fantasies! Just for fun! You will be black and blue from being claimed as a wife! That is a right! Shannon is the same way! So she is screwed either way she goes on that one too! Cause my brother and I are the same on marking what belongs to us!"