30-Something Reality

Heart To Heart... Brother Style

JARED's P.O.V.

I kissed Siren and Connie as they got in my mother's car... "Take care of them mom," I softly asked as I leaned in and kissed Siren one last time... "They are my everything!" I look over at my mother and she is smiling... I look back at Siren and she is waiting to lock eyes with me... She leans her head into mine and I just hold her face in my hands... "I know... I'll fix this... I love you!" I kiss her forehead and close the door. My mother drives off and I take a deep breath and head back into my brother's hospital room. 

 I stood at the foot of Shannon's bed... "So how long are you going to hate me?"

Shannon just glared at me! "First off! Who the FUCK do you think you are? Siren isn't just some toy we can fight over Jared!"

"You don't think I know that!" I screamed... I took a breath and PRAYED the nurses don't come in and throw me out... "I know that better than you think! I've been the one to put her back together EVERY time Shannon! Do you blame her for wanting to not be afraid it's all going to fall apart? Don't you think Siren of ALL people DESERVES that!"

"Yes Jared I do! But why can't I be the one to show her that? Why does it have to be YOU! That is MY daughter!"

"Don't you think I know that Shannon! I see how she looks JUST like you!" I almost colapsed in tears! "I see how MY girlfriend looks at you! I saw you kiss MY girlfriend! You fucked up Shannon! And I TOLD you I would put her back together when you fucked up... I NEVER thought you would ACTUALLY fuck shit up! Especially not this BAD!" I was furious!

"So you are loving every minute of this aren't you!" Shannon snapped at me.

"NO! I don't like hearing her cry your name at night! She still calls for you in MY arms every night! The only time she calls MY name is when we FUCK!" I got cruel... "And trust me brother, I STILL can't fatham how you could POSSIBLY have thought telling her you wouldn't cancel when she needed you the most! That may not be an issue for her anymore... But it is ME! That whole thing fucked EVERYTHING up between all of us! Why didn't you just come and meet her? THEN.... THEN!" I went over and stood beside my brother.... We were BOTH in tears! "She hears Jeanette tell her she could have started over... And you... YOU ... YOU JUST ROLLED OUT! To do WHAT!? Shannon! Man... You're my brother! You say you loved her! Then man.... WHY didn't you STAY with her and make sure SHE was okay!"

"Because I thought she would chose Jean!" He screamed at me...

I finally see my brother break.... "Jared... You deserve her... But how do I just walk away? She is my entire world!"

I sit down and hold my brother... "Shannon, that was what broke Siren... She broke down the next day. She knew what was going to happen with you... She still loves you... But she loves me too... And I fell hard... Loosing Jeanette the way I did just pushed me back into her arms.... I was already half way there the day she got the guitar case... I was ready to take her away then... Jeanette and I were just not on the same page anymore... She was more worried about Siren, I had no idea.."

I saw my brother look at me... "Why would Jeanette ask about Siren's tattoo? If she was taking care of her wouldn't she have seen it?"

"Shannon, I didn't know she had a tattoo on her back till the first time we were together! She had always been so conservative... Until the night in New York... She came out in that Corset and lace! I didn't see anything but her eyes and her curves and I never even notcited it when she stayed with me... she was ALWAYS covered!"

"I knew she had one, I scratched it up pretty bad the first night... I tried to appologize, and that was when she said she wanted to cover it... So in Philly I took her as a surprise!" Shannon looked at me... "How did you not see it? You can see it in almost every shirt she wears! And when she sleeps, well... She doesn't always remember to put on her most covering pj's..."

"I told you, I never made any real move on her till the night he almost killed her. Yeah, we made out before... but she always wore like these almost flannel pj's that were day of the dead... I never knew she had anything on her back because I never tried to sleep with her! I knew what she meant to you! But when she came to me, completely broken..." I stood up and walked over to the window. I looked out of the blinds and just flashed back in my head to the night Siren and I made love for the first time. The passion I felt for her and from her... It flooded my veins... "Shannon, I couldn't deny her! She begged me to tell her why you weren't there! Why wasn't she important enough for you to be there when she needed you!" I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled it in to my bun... I wiped my face off and turned around and looked at my brother. "I know you would die for her! You almost did! You're daughter is your entire world! But man... The heart ache I have seen in her eyes... Man... It's finally fading! Until today! That kiss man! You FUCKED her head up!"

"Do you expect me to just stand by and let you walk away with her! Are you serious!?" Shannon was more than pissed with me! "I get out of here the day before her birthday! And what can I do for her that you can't? Dude, you always end up with what you want right! No matter the cost? What is going to happen in six months if she realizes she is still in love with me? What happens then?"

I sat down and put my elbows on my knees and put my face in my hands.... "She walks away from both of us."

"You're SERIOUS!" Shannon was pissed!

"That's not all..." I sigh and look at my brother dead in the eyes... "She knows I'm still in love with Jeanette..."

"THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STANDING BETWEEN HER AND ME!" Shannon was on the verge of decking me with his good hand!

"HEY! Shannon! How am I suppossed to just erase how I feel about Siren? She and I make sense! We are opposites and the same all in one! We just work well together, we're best friends, she calls me on my shit and I build her dreams and make them a reality! Man... She is just so fun to be around and I just can't give up who she is when she is with me and how I feel when I'm around her... I'm being selfish!"

"So even though Jeanette came BACK to L.A. FOR YOU.... " Of course my brother would remind me of that!

"I get that! But I'm not willing to loose Siren over something that blew up in my face once already! And I don't know if Siren can let go of you and trust you again..." I was brutally honest with Shannon.

"So you're not going to back down and give me the chance to prove to her I'm who she fell in love with the first time..." Shannon stared at me.

"I'm not going to push her away! If she chooses me I won't deny her! I can't do that. But I also won't let you push her to where she just acts rash and tries to marry me to spite you! So if you and her are going to work things out then it has to be done carefully." I couldn't believe I was trying to help Shannon... "I'm not backing down though! I'm just laying it out there! Act like yourself... If she comes to you, and she kisses you first.... then fine! But you can't kiss her first! That's not playing fair! But I'm also not going to hide my feelings from her. She will tell me if you are who she wants... She and I have talked a lot more than you think! We didn't just fuck around like you two did!"

I stood up and walked towards the door.... "There is suposed to be a welcome home party for all three of you at the apartment the day you come home. I'm not going to hide our relationship at the party. It's only going to our crew... So I'm not hiding her, I didn't when she was with me on tour, I'm not starting now. If she comes back to you, with out you pulling any of your slick ass moves on her... Then I won't stand in your way, as I have ALWAYS said! But! If she still chooses me.... I'm taking her! I love her Shannon, And if Jeanette and I end up working out, I know she won't stand between us either... So keep that in mind! But for now, I belong to Siren, and Siren to me. Connie is YOUR daughter, so make sure she remembers why you are her father, before I make her forget!"