30-Something Reality

Choices...

SHANNON's P.O.V.

Connie was now 3 days old and Siren was recovered enough she could finally leave the hospital. She could leave under a few conditions though...

1. Siren could NOT be left alone!
2. NO breast feeding! (Due to the blood transfusion and pain meds.)
3. NO SEX for 6 weeks....(typical Dr's order for a new mother!) (With me OR my brother... she should probably wait 8 weeks considering our size!)
4. Siren could not help me with things unless it was with taking care of Connie... 

Jared and I had spoken and neither of us liked the idea of him bringing Connie home... I would be staying with Siren in Vickie and Tomo's room when I was released in a few days, but still neither of us could be left alone together. If something happened, neither of us could do much to help the other! I still had one hand in a cast and 3 bruised ribs! PLUS my leg all scratched up from the pants shredding when I slid... The road rash was the only thing Siren could actually help me with... Everything else would have to be... Jared or Jeanette... So when Jared and I had a little brother to brother talk, we set down some rules and just had to discuss them with Siren... 

Jeanette had come in and out and things were getting better... She and Siren had talked and they had let things go between them. They were sisters, and Connie was everything to both of them. Jeanette was Auntie Jean, as she proudly refereed to herself every time she would hold my little Princess... She was so proud to be an Aunt... She had already bought Connie MORE than everything she could POSSIBLY find that said Auntie's Favorite, Mommy's Little Angel, Daddy's World.... Uncle's Princess... And of course... TAKE ME TO GRANDMA! Connie was going to be rotten before she was 6 weeks old!

Today was Feb. 20, and Siren's birthday was in just a few days... NONE of us knew what to do for her... EVEN Jeanette! She had stayed very quiet... Siren was not acting like herself at all, we figured it was because she had come so close to the edge, maybe she just was scared. It would make sense, she had majored in Psychology in college and minored in Photography. So she was most likely trying to evaluate how things were happening, what had happened, the fact she was a mother again, and what was going to happen now.

It's 9:23 a.m. and I hear a knock at my door, "Come in..." I answer.

"Thought you might want some decent coffee!" Jared comes in with a big ass smile on his face. I have Connie in my arms and feeding her before they take her to get her ready to go home. Jared sees her and just beams! "You know, man... I'm jealous!" He laughs as he sets the coffee on the over the bed table with in my reach.

Connie just finished her bottle and is laying proped in my left arm over a pillow, snuggled in blankets so the cast doesn't bother her. I look up at my brother and look at him puzzled.... "Do I even want to know why?"

"Cause you get to hold her more!" He scoops Connie up in his arms as gently as he can and laughs.... "But you can't burp her with a cast brother, so fair and square... my turn to hold the little one!" He is actually really being a great Uncle to her... Why was I ever afraid that he would keep me from her? Till he reminds me... "The other reason is you're her father.. and strangely enough I don't think it's because of how I feel about Siren. I just never though I would love someone so MUCH as I do Connie..."

"You know as angry as that made me when you started off.... I can understand what you mean. Like everything else just melts away when she is in your arms. So yeah... I understand.." I looked Jared in the eyes... "They took me off the pain killers today. I told them I didn't want them. I wanted to be able to take care of my daughter. Not be taken care of. It's bad enough the way things are between all of us..."

I stopped and took a deep breath... "I couldn't take NOT being able to hold her with out being afraid I would hurt her. She's depending on me... And so is Siren... I have so much to show her, and I told you... I'm not going to sit by and just let you take her from me. I don't care that she's got that ring on her hand. You and I have an agreement! And I'm holding you to it!"

"Do I at least get to know? Cause if it effects MY daughter... Then you WILL answer to me!" I hear Siren's voice from the door way. Our mother had brought her in the room at the WORST possible moment! 

Mom took Connie from Jared and glared at him! Then at me! As soon as she turned and looked into Connie's eyes, she was COMPLETELY different... My mother loved that child... "Hi Princess... Nani's got you... It's time to get ready to go home with mommy... Are you ready? Come on sweetheart..." My mother leaned down for Siren to kiss her daughter, and took her to the nurses to get ready...

"I'm sorry... We're just..." I tried to apologize...

"No... I'm not getting into it right now... This isn't fair that I don't get to help set the rules!" She still struggled to move from everything so of course Jared had to help her stand up.... She had a piece of paper in her hands and a pen... "I came in here... to actually see you Shannon!" She and Jared walked over and Siren sat on the right side of my bed and smiled the biggest smile... "I came to get you sign your daughter's birth certificate!" She put her right hand on top of mine... "Your mom told me about what you told the doctors. When you come to stay with me, I'm going to help change some of the bandages... I'm certified thanks to my sister talking me into taking some extra classes with her in college. But hey, when you're in love, you do things to spend time with the people you love... Which, makes me a liar, we are going to get into this...."

I never thought all three of us would do it... But we did! All three of us sighed at the same time... It made us laugh and lightened the mood a bit. 

Jared laced his fingers over her left shoulder... "This isn't going to be easy for any of us... But I'm proud of my brother for being such a great dad already Siren..."

She looked up at him and smiled, "You will one day too... I've seen you with her. I'm grateful for her having both you and Jeanette in her life. Which leads me to what rules I am laying down!" She turned and looked at me... "I'm dating Jared... he WILL be at my apartment. But I won't sleep in the same room with him. You're staying in what was Vickie and Tomo's room... They've made it your room. And my office has been turned into Jared's room... Jeanette has a day bed in the nursery and Connie will be in my room." Siren put her head down and laughed... "I NEVER THOUGHT I would be living in an apartment in LA let alone in this mess...You're mother didn't let me argue on the apartment... And I have learned VERY quickly that SHE is where YOU TWO get it from!" 

"Exactly what is that?" Jared asked...

"That LETO...'don't argue with me' death stare!" She laughed like I hadn't heard her laugh in a long time... It made me smile. "When I told her the apartment was way out of my league, she told me..."

"Being comfotable and safe was not something that was unreasonabl0e to want for her and for her daughter! She had earned the chance to have a nice place of her own. And not to have to worry about where she would go with her daughter. So I took care of making sure Siren was taken care of!" My mother was always the voice of reason with my brother and I... Now she was rubbing off on Siren!

"I'm going down to get the car... Jared, we will call you with the food order and you will bring dinner over when you stop by later... Connie, say... 'See you soon daddy! Can't wait for you to come home!'" My mother puts my daughter in my arms. "Jared, why don't you give them a couple of minutes."

Jared kisses Siren's head and looks at me... "If you're still talking to me then, I'll come hang out with you while the girls get home and settled." With that him and mom left the room...

Connie stired in my arms... "I'm sorry for everything..." I turned and looked Siren in the eyes... She had tears in her eyes... "Hey, what's wrong?" I put my hand on hers.

"I can't tell you I don't love you Shannon. I do..." She looked at our daughter, "And Jared knows that if I can't walk away from you, he will back down. So I took the ring off... I told Jared if I don't feel the same way in 6months, I'll put the ring back on and we will make things offical." 

"So may I ask how do you feel?" She looked at me dead in the eyes when I asked her....

"I like being around him, I like being with him... But I still have feelings for you... And I can't deny that. So we are only taking things slow. I also am making you a promise..."  Siren took my hand for the first time in a LONG time, "I won't sleep with him again until I've made that choice. And yes, he knows..."

I was in SHOCK!