30-Something Reality

Finding a way....

SIREN's P.O.V.

We had finaly arrived in Detroit... Vickie was waiting at the hotel for us... Tomo pulled her in for a kiss and Jared pulled me and LoLa straight into his room. He had been nothing but good to me since New York. It had been almost a month since we had been in New York... I still couldn't look at Shannon with out wanting to cry. But I did my job and got the best shots of him playing the drums on stage... I couldn't even bare to edit half the photos of him with the fans. All I saw was that girl at the club....

"You okay sweets?" Jared came up and put his arms around me... Nothing had happened between us besides a few kisses here and there. And a lot of snuggling at night. Some nights I knew he wanted so much more... But he never pushed... "You haven't eaten today... Let me order you some chicken.... It should be mild enough for your stomach." He kissed the top of my head...

My stomach growled and turned all at once.... I was still in shock that I was pregnant again... But then again, Shannon and I had never used anything, and we fucked around a LOT when we were together... Now it just hurt to even think about his arms around me. 

Jared and Tomo had both told me about the video and Shannon walking away from Christine... But it just hurt seeing him kiss her. I knew he walked away but it didn't matter... He still didn't stop her in the FIRST place! 

Jared felt me pull myself into his arms closer.... "You do have to eat something honey... That little one needs you to be strong... No matter how weak you feel, you are stronger than you know.... Please eat something.... "

I had picked at everything since I had found out. Shannon had tried to talk to me... But Jared kept him at a distance so I didn't end up in a panic attack... "I will... I'm sorry..."

"Stop, I'm not your ex, and I'm only worried about you, cause I know you are hurt. I'm not going to let you suffer and not take care of you!" He lifted my head and softly kissed my lips... "See, I'm not going to hurt you..."

"That's what Shannon said too... And look where I'm at now..."  I muttered...

 That did it!... Jared pulled me into the bedroom and pinned me against the wall.... He looked me in the eyes... his blue eyes.... The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine... He kissed me like nothing I had ever felt! Even from Shannon!

Jared broke the kiss and just looked at me with my face in his hands.... "I've wanted to do that for a LONG time..." He kissed me softly again... "I won't push you... I know you love him..."

"I don't believe in love Jared..." I looked at him in the eyes... I didn't want to hurt him... But I was going to... "Because I finally let your brother in... and he broke what was left of my heart..." I walked away and out of the hotel room.

I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was going to go, but I needed to get out of there.... I walked down the hallway and saw Shannon coming down the hall... I didn't even care anymore... I just walked past him like he didn't exsist... I heard Jared come up behind me at the elevator.... He got on behind me and I just turned around and stopped! It wasn't Jared... it was Shannon.... Jared showed up as the doors were closing... I could hear him cussing Shannon... But was too late... I was stuck on the elevator with Shannon...

"I didn't get on with you to upset you or start anything...." He looked at me with those hazel eyes that made me want to cry... "I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and that I love you... and I hope you can forgive me one day."

"Shannon stop..." I started to cry... "Please...."

"I love you Siren... Sarah..." He tilted my head up so I had to look at him... He wiped away my tears and he whispered... "I'm going to find a way to make this up to you... to you and our baby... I promise...."

And with that the elevator doors opened with Jared standing in front of them with Tomo and Vickie on either side of him.... They had ran down the stairs to beat the elevator... Jared stood there like a stone statue ready to hit Shannon... I had never seen his eyes so angry! AT HIS OWN BROTHER!

Vickie grabbed me out of the elevator and Tomo stayed to keep Jared and Shannon from killing each other.... Vickie called Emma and told her to bring LoLa down and that I was staying at hers and Tomo's place until things settled down.

Vickie got me outside and called my step- sister Jeanette that was lived near by. She was another photographer and was going to join on in my spot for the rest of the tour. It was only another week or so till we hit L.A. so it wouldn't be long till I was away from Shannon for good.

JARED's P.O.V.

He DARED to jump in the elevator with her! I grabbed Vickie and Tomo and ran down the stairs to beat the elevators. I was standing in front of them when they opened... He was touching her face! Rage poured through me! The fear in her eyes... Vickie grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the elevator... she looked like she was going to hit the floor... I felt Tomo put his arm up infront of me... I was going to kick my brother's teeth in!

"Jared.... this is NOT the time and place..." Tomo tried to calm me down...

"I didn't mean to upset her, but you have had her cloistered away so I couldn't appologize and talk to her.... How is that fair!"  Shannon snapped back at me...

"NOT HERE!" Tomo turned me around and shoved me out the doors of the lobby.... 

I got into the truck and Siren jumped into my arms... "I've got you sweets... Don't worry, I won't let him do that to you again.... I'm sorry baby.... I've got you..." I tried to quiet her... it wasn't working!

We got back to Vickie and Tomo's house.... They had a house not far outside of Detroit. We pulled in and Siren had just fallen asleep in my arms... I kissed her softly on the top of her head to wake her up and she stirred  and jumped... "Hey... It's just me... We are here... I'm going to order you something to eat and I want to you take a nap until it gets here. Please!" I looked into her eyes... She seemed so lost. I put my hand in hers and locked our fingers... She smiled and we parted only long enought to get out of the truck... I met her at the front of the vehichle and put my arm around her to walk inside. I wasn't going to let her down. She and that unborn baby needed me, and I wasn't going to let my brother cost her this child...