Once Upon Online

chapter 103

I get worried that when Ryujin is not around that I revert back to my old thinking. I'm still better than how I was but I feel like it's bad that I rely on her so much. Am I not independent anymore? I'm allowing her to provide for me right now since I'm not working and my maternity leave salary is over.

It was hard to accept at first but I needed to put my pride down because Ervin and Eva need to eat. For some reason I thought getting help from Ryujin was better than asking my sister for help.

Will Ryujin think I'm using her? Would she get tired of supporting me and the kids? Even after moving to the states, I can't work right away because I need to have legal documents allowing me to work in that country.

"What are you thinking about?" Travis ask.

I look around to see if my sister is nearby but she isn't. I'm in the backyard with Eva because she wanted to play outside. Ervin is sleeping since he just ate.

"Oh nothing" I say.

"Yeji, I've known you long enough that I know when something is bothering you. Ryujin told me to make sure you always have someone to talk to" he sits on the chair next to mine.

"Did Ryujin talk to everyone to keep an eye on me?" I joke.

"Pretty much" he says seriously.

"Why?" I'm not sure how I feel about that.

"She's worried you'll hold things in too much. She says she won't be here to actually see you and you might hide things from her so she won't worry" he answers.

"So tell to dear old Travis what's bothering you, I'm like the male version of Ryujin, you know? Handsome, funny, loving, caring and great in bed" he winks at me.

"Eww" I smack his arm.

"Oh don't try to hide it. It's not like I haven't heard you. It's not like you were quiet or anything" he laughs and I cover for my face.

"This is embarrassing" I mumble into my hands.

"Oh come on. Were both adults" he laughs still, "so what's bothering you?" He ask.

"Fine" I remove my hands from my face, "You know how Ryujin is sending me money right now for my expense?"

"Yea? What about it?"

"I feel bad about it. I don't want her to think I'm using her or anything. It's not her job to support me. Then I think about it some more, she paid for everything to get to move there, she will pay for the plane tickets, they're paying for the wedding and they're paying for the house to get built. At this point, I'm more of a burden since she's supporting me financially now."

"Aren't you two engaged?" He ask.

"Yes? Why ask that now?" I look at him, confuse.

"Has Ryujin said or done anything to make you feel that way?"

"Not really. She's always willing but she could be pretending" I answer.

"You know how I lost my job before right? During that time, your sister supported me. I felt the same way you're probably feeling now" he pauses, "then after I got another job, I asked her if she ever felt like I was a burden to her since she had to pay for everything, rent, food, and all of our bills. You know what she said?"

I shake my head, waiting for him to continue.

"She said yes" he looks at me in the eyes.

He burst out laughing, "I'm kidding. She didn't say that."

"You're an ass" I say.

"I'm sorry, I had to but in all seriousness, she said I wasn't. She didn't see it as a burden because she thought its the least she can do to help me. She knew I was already going through a lot while trying to look for a job. I was feeling defeated and worthless. I felt like I wasn't good enough for her but she didn't push me or anything or get mad at me or make me feel like I'm less of a person."