PaperFresh Shots

Cracked Soul

I heard laughter behind me. My soul started beating harshly. I moved to the side and pulled out my phone, hoping they would let me be.

They just continued to talk... Talking about how useless I am... How much of a burden I am...

Once they were far enough away, did I continue... I kept my head down... I felt sadness creep into me. I let it consume me... The thoughts were daunting... But they were right...

You're so useless... You're nothing... You can't draw for crap! Why do you even exist! You ruin everything you touch! Why don't you just end it! The world would be better without you!... Mom and Dad might stop arguing over me... They might have a good marriage without me in the way...

Thoughts like these plagued my mind, yet I refused to cry... Crying would just prove them all right... Crying would show them how weak and fragile I am...

Everyone is better than me... I can barely keep my grades as it is... What would Mom and Dad think? They think I'm a disappointment... Mom doesn't care about me anyway... I'm just a drunk one-night stand with Dad... If I didn't happen... Palette might have a good family... He might be better... He'd be happier...

I shook my head as I stepped onto the porch. I can't let them see me like this... I can't be such a burden to them...

"Jammy! How was school today?" Mom asked me, his smile bright as always. No matter what, Mom finds reasons to smile... Reasons to be happy... I wish I could be one of those reasons...

"Great! Though... I think I bombed another Math test..." I muttered, looking away... I felt shame come off my parent as he sighed. 

"I can ask Fresh to help you with your homework... He's good with that type of stuff..." 

I gave a kind smile at the thought... But I couldn't bother him... He's my best friend... Why should I bother him with something as stupid as this?

"No... I can just ask for some help from the teacher. Ms. Muffet does a good job at explaining things if you let her know about it." I lied. 

Mom smiled at me, though it seemed fake. 

"Okay, when you're finished with homework we can go to the park and relax." 

I nodded, acting excited. I wasn't... The kids at school would be there... They were call me names... They would make fun of me... 

I hurried up the stairs in an excited manner. I was going to take as long as I could. I started with a subject that I can at least get the most tests right about... History... Both of my parents had some sort of history major... Though Dad is more into war and chaos, while Mom is about art and harmony... I don't mind any of that really...

Once done with that I went on to Science, then English, and lastly... Math... The moment I was done with that, someone knocked on my door.

I sat up, my face void of emotion. I shook it off and force a look of confusion on it. 

"Mr. Fresh!" I cried out at seeing the brightly colored skeleton.

"Sup, home dawg! Inkster said that ya been havin' problems with some Math." His smile was kind as he gave a look of reassurance. 

I gave a small smile, looking up at him. H-He was going to help m-me?

No... He's just taking pity on you. Like someone as cool as him would really help someone as lame as you.

"Thanks, Mr. Fresh... B-But I got it all done..." I spoke in my usual happy tone, trying to make it seem like nothing was wrong.

He saw through it... I know he did...