Chapter 268 Words We Don't Say

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Bam sat on the edge of the bed watching his Lila sleep. For the first time in over three days, she felt safe enough to close her eyes and know that when she woke she was home. A small sliver of moonlight peeked through their window casting a half light on her. He always loved her in moonlight. The enormity of his emotions weighed so heavily on him that he found it impossible to sleep. Little was said between them at the hospital or during the long ride home. So much of him wanted nothing more than to beg her forgiveness for the thoughts he had, yet another part of his soul couldn't reconcile the words Nato said to him before taking his last breath. "She willingly gave herself to me." Those words played over and over in his mind like a broken record.

He was angry with himself for not being able to prevent the chain of events that had unfolded. He was angry that he was not the one to finish Nato off once and for all. He was angry that she had lost faith and had to resort to such an extreme measure to gain her freedom. He was angry at the loss of innocence between them now as if she had purposely violated their bond. His soul was inconsolable at that moment.

The note he left on the nightstand for her said it all as he quietly packed a few of his things and left like a thief in the night.

I need time. -Bam

Jill found the note first when she went to check on Lila the next morning. When Lila woke, Jill was there. "Where's Bam," she asked still half asleep.

Jill handed the note to Lila to read. "He needs some time, Lila. To process what you both have been through."

Lila knew words could hurt. She also knew that unspoken words could hurt more. She sat in their bed numb to her emotions. She knew the knowledge of what Nato said to Bam had cut him deeply. She also knew he was most likely blaming himself that he didn't find her in time. Her husband usually dealt with his most difficult emotions by disappearing into the wild. It wasn't the first time that happened in their relationship.

"Lila, are you okay?" Jill asked as she reached to hold Lila's hand.

"No," her voice cracked, "I have broken us." Lila put the note under her pillow and asked Jill to get Matt. She needed to tell her story to the only other person that probably would understand.

Noah Kahan-Hurt Somebody

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