Chapter 293 A Letter to Two "Wives"

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Jill's surprise visit, although rulebreaking, spurred Matt to complete his assignment from Vivian. It put a lot of things into perspective causing him to be more introspective of the most important people in his life...Jill, Lila and Bam. He penned his first letter to Lila. His second letter was to Jill and his last letter was to himself.

Lila,

I am so lucky to have you in my life. We have joked over the years that you were my "first wife" and in a lot of ways you were.

I have loved you since my first dance with you.

I have loved you when you loved someone else. (My brother deserved someone as special as you.)

You have loved me when I couldn't love myself.

You have told me the truth about myself when no one else would. I think your exact words were "man whore." Ouch!

You found someone for me that was just as perfect as you.

For all those things, I am grateful.

Today, I am releasing you from my heart. I know now that to move forward, I can't live in a "what could have been world."

Matt

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Jillian,

You never cease to amaze and surprise me. Most days, I feel I don't deserve you but you are constantly there to remind me that I am worthy of your love and affection.

I am forever sorry for the hurt and disappointment I made you feel for these past few months and if you will let me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

Your surprise visit reminded me that we have always met each other halfway. Today, I will be the one that crosses the threshold all the way because you are forever in my heart.

Matt

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To the old Matt,

You are forgiven.

From the new Matt

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Matt felt a sense of relief letting go of his excess baggage. He felt different like all the anxiousness that was bottled up on the inside had spilled out of him freely. For the first time in months, he began to see, really see the important things in his life. He regretted having wasted so much time and energy on the past and now looked to the future with a renewed optimism. He wanted to go home.

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"I'm going to check myself out of here tomorrow." Matt handed his assignment book to Vivian.

"Is that wise? Are you sure you're ready for that step?"

"I know one thing. I can't be who I need to be in here."

"Read the letters outloud, Matt." Vivian slid the book across the desk to where he sat. Matt picked it up, walked to the window,  and read the first letter aloud.

"And I wrote a second letter. To my wife."
Matt continued to read his personal thoughts to Vivian.

"Take the first letter and throw it into the fireplace. Release the past." Matt tore the first pages out of his book including the sketch of Lila and threw it into the fire.  He watched as the flames quickly devoured the past.

"And the second letter?" Vivian waited to see just what he would do. He tore the second letter from his book hesitating for a moment. It didn't take him long to fold that page into neat squares and slip it into his pocket.

"I'm keeping this one to remind me that the past is just that...the past."

"What about the last letter?"

Matt read the words he wrote but this time he actually heard them. "You are forgiven."

Vivian nodded in agreement. "I think you might be ready to go home."

Those were the sweetest words Matt had heard since he left to home.

Kelly Clarkson-Stronger







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