The Dance Part 2

Chapter 291 She Loves Someone Else

Matt dropped off his book at Viv's office on his way to breakfast so she could review the contents before he was scheduled to meet with her. He felt a little awkward exposing himself to a complete stranger. He hadn't shared this type of conversational intimacy with anyone other than Jill. Growing up with four other brothers didn't exactly lend itself to emotional one on one talks.

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Vivian welcomed Matt into her office and opened the notebook. "She's quite beautiful." Viv looked up to see Matt staring again out her large office window.

"Yes, she is." He replied.

"Do you want to share with me who she is?" Viv asked already assuming she knew the answer.

"She's my best friend."

"Is that all she is to you? You took such care in drawing her just right." Vivian noticed how carefully he had drawn his subject's eyes.

"She's my brother's wife."

Vivian nodded and made a note in his file. "Is that all she is to you?" She asked with a curiosity in her voice.

"That's all she can ever be. That's all she was ever destined to be."

Vivian sat silent for a moment to see if Matt would tell her his true feelings about the woman he drew. "Does your wife know?"

"Know what?" Matt asked in a perplexed tone.

"That you're in love with her."

Matt's head snapped back to Vivian's position. "No one knows that and that is the way it will remain for the rest of my life."

"Your secret is safe with me. And no one has ever suspected your feelings for her?"

"I love my wife and my brother. I would never do anything to hurt them or Lila."

"It seems like you are carrying a lot of guilt and maybe some of that doesn't all stem from just your history with Nato."

"What are you trying to say?" Matt asked perturbed at her seeing that in him.

"Have you ever wanted to act on those feelings?"

"No...no....Lila made a choice and it was and always will be my brother. And she makes him very happy. And I'm happy for them."

"Do you feel like you let her down because you couldn't stop the events that happened to her?"

"Wouldn't you?" Matt barked back.

"This isn't about me, Matt. It's about feelings you've surpressed for along time."

"I just can't stop feeling like I let her down."

"Is that why you shot him?"

"No. I didn't know until afterwards what happened to Lila. He drew on my brother. I didn't have a choice. It was either Bam or him."

Vivian could see his agitation in being challenged by her and decided that she shouldn't push him any more today. "Matt, for your homework tonight, I want you to write a letter to Lila and tell her how you feel." She handed his notebook back to him.

"I can't do that. It would ruin my family. I would never want to deliberately hurt Jill. And for that matter, Lila and Bam."

"No Matt, you misunderstand the assignment. The letter won't be mailed. The letter is to help you release the feelings you've been suppressing. Say what you need to say in the letter and let those feelings go once and for all."

"I don't get how this will help me."

"You will tomorrow. Please take the book and complete the assignment."

Matt was beginning to understand just how hard therapy really was.

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As he had the night before after dinner, he settled in to begin writing the most difficult letter of his life to a woman who would never read it.

Sting...I love her but she loves someone else