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《Venn》The Demon is Born

Reviewer: Unloveable_Night

Story by manigandanrmec

The demon is born

Title 10/10
-  I like the title as it was so pretty catchy for all the readers out there!

Cover 10/10
- the cover is so simple yet so cool! the fonts are simply worked with the picture on the cover. I like the words and the way they’ve placed.

Blurb: 15/15
- the blurb gives me excitement! It was a great job to give attractions to the readers. It’s so understanding blurb. it gives curiousity to the reader to make it read more and find out what’s behind in this masterpiece story. This will make your readers wonder and Its absolutely made me want to read your story. I actually really like the blurb you’ve written because it gives the basic background. I liked the way you put a small blurb that can give your readers a actual curiousness, the way John the investigator and the way would he able to bring the mysterious killer? Like this is so exciting!

Storyline: 15/15
- first of all, The story starts off with a really good exactly scene, my mind was already blown up! I like the opening scene as I can see your writing style is indeed cool already. After reading the first chapter, My curiosity mind started to get wild as i was more exciting to read your story on and on and did not want to put it down. The plot of this story is just fabulous, it’s so incredible, and engaging. The pacing of this story is immaculate. There are multiple fast-paced moments that are very masterfully written.

Characters: 10/10
-  first of all, The Characters were developed and portrayed well in the story. All of them were very describable realistic, and some were mysterious. But your characters should be further developed as they are often so realistic and frequently offer a lot of advice to the great main characters, but they were so indeed unique kind of characters, and I would like to see more of your hidden characters behind this story cause your story is only 3 chapters tho ;^;

Grammar, Punctuation, Syntax & Diction - 9/10
The main mistake that I noticed is that your subject-verb agreement is messed up sometimes. Also, you sometimes put a sentence fragment together with a full sentence, and it doesn’t really make sense. Here’s an example of both of these errors:

Your story reads: What about the cameras? Well, there is none out back, only in the store and in the front of the store.
This should read: What about the cameras? Well, there are none out back; they’re only in the store and in the front of the store.

Characters - 14/15
Beau: I think it’s interesting how his name is a play on Beowulf. He is so twisted and messed up. I am disgusted by the things he does but it’s also intriguing in some weird, convoluted way. Beau is totally unpredictable and I find myself reading simply to see what he does next.

Neo: His character is pretty cynical and he’s totally sarcastic which provides a little comic relief. If his character wasn’t around, I feel like your story would be so much more serious and dull.

Neo and Beau’s team: They also provide some good comic relief for the seriousness of the story and they totally seem unaffected by serious things that happen around them. I think they’re pretty playful, even if they don’t necessarily play a massive part in the story.

Overall Enjoyment - 13/15
I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I received the request to review your story, but I was quite impressed with what I read. Your writing style is nice, your storyline is interesting, and the events keep me waiting for what will happen next. Really nice work!

Total Score: 92/100