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《Ana》November Story

Reviewer :: ceo_kjinnie

"November Story" by Harry2411

➼COVER (9/10)
I love the theme of your cover, the aesthetic is totally my kind but it would have been better if you could have put Taehyung on top and the face claim of y/n on the bottom side of the cover.
(p.s. I'm well aware that this was made for a graphic war, it was mentioned in one of the chapters but that doesnt mean the cover and title should not make sense to the story)

➼TITLE (7/10)
The title is good and sounds original but I don't understand the relation with the plotline. Was the story taking place in the month of November? If yes, it was never once mentioned in the plot.
You could have gone for a more appealing title that bends more to the unrequited love side but this is not bad.

➼BLURB (6/10)
A blurb is an insight into the story but I noticed your blurb talks about the two children who were playing in the Han River and they had nothing to do with the story except the fact that they reminded Taehyung of his childhood with Y/n.
It would have been better if you had given an extract from the main plot, without giving away the whole storyline. Try to be less cryptic with the blurbs.

➼PLOT (6/10)
Since this is a one shot there isn't much to say about the plot but it seemed too predictable and unpredictable at the same time to me and didn't feel unique. There weren't any plot holes in general but I can't seem to understand how Y/n couldn't understand Taehyung's love even after all that. This factor makes the story kind of unrealistic. (I know it was mentioned that Y/n was really immature but it would have been better if you added the segment of Y/n finally realising Taehyung's love)
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➼ORIGINALITY (7/10)
It lacked originality. There were too many cliche tropes in your story but they were executed fairly well so I must give it to you for that!

➼ WRITING STYLE (5/10)
Your writing style felt too straightforward which doesn't look good in a one shot especially when it's of the angst genre. The emotions of the characters were not defined properly (especially Y/n's) Therefore you need to work on it more.

➼CHARACTER AND STORY DEVELOPMENT (5/10)
Taehyung's emotions are prioritised more in this story which didn't do justice to the other characters (Y/n and Jung Hoseok). I know Taehyung is the main character in this story but the other characters' emotions could have been defined more too.
As for the story development, the pace felt sort of rushed. If Taehyung's emotions were explained at a much slower pace, it would have had more impact on the readers.

➼SETTING/WORLDBUILDING (8/10)
Could have been explained better but there weren't any surroundings being mentioned at most of the times so it's alright. It was hard to grasp the fact Y/n's and Hoseok's wedding was over when the POVs changed so I had to reread to understand.
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➼GRAMMAR & SPELLING (7/10)
A proofreading is needed. There aren't any spelling errors but usage of wrong prepositions and wrong vocabulary was evident in some places. Approach a good editing shop if you're lazy to proofread. Also you need to step up your vocabulary game, there are many overused words and repetitions in your story. Try using more eye-catchy words to interest readers.

➼ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT (8/10)
Overall it's a pretty good story for something that was crafted out of a graphic war contest submission. You have definitely put the cover to good use. I saw the comments in your work and many readers were happy with the overall read. Also I must point out how I gasped when I found out Sunbae J was Hobi. (I expected either Jimin or Jungkook, but I'm more than happy it is our sunshine Hobi)

➼OVERALL (73/100)
With all that being said, I would like to thank you for choosing me as your reviewer. Have a good day/night, Kim Chi.
                        ~Ana