Rosete | REVIEW SHOP [CLOSED]

《Ria》Her Sempiternal Beloved

Reviewer: conteuseconqueror
Story: Her Sempiternal Beloved by  _JeonK_

• Writing style and voice - 15/25%
Your style was okay, although I did not see a consistent pattern with each prose—I believe you write proses since the number of syllables were not calculated—but at the same time, I said that because each line didn't end with the same letters, which was more common in proses.

Nonetheless, your choice of words and delivery were alright and easy to understand.

• Plot: 18/20%
Since I could only base my reviews on poems, I resulted to adjusting the score according to the relevance of each piece to one another. I really liked how you were versatile with your idea of love and it showed. Keep it up.

• World-building - 7/15%
I gave it a low score because there's really no concrete "world", it was only a collection of poems.

Still, it was about a girl who yearned for her beloved, so there was a connection, and it felt like I was reading the poems she wrote for him. If that was your plan all along, then it worked.

• Climax - 6/10%
I must admit, each poem had its own peculiarity. That being said, I found a few eye-catching lines from each one and I considered those the climaxes.

• Characters - 7/10%
The characters weren't specified because you referred to the subjects as "her" and "him", and they were sometimes written in your perspective, and that was alright.

The way you built the characters was worth appreciating. I felt their emotions and sentiments.

• Grammar - 6/10%
I would just like to point out a mistake that I kept seeing in your poems: improper capitalization.

Only capitalize names (ex: Victoria), proper nouns (ex: Eiffel Tower), a person's title, but only when it's placed before their name (ex: Architect John), titles of articles, artworks, books, etc. excluding the conjunctions (ex: Misfits Series Book 10: Play the Part), and the first letter of every sentence ("I like mangoes," she declared.).

Other than that, I found no more mistakes.

• Blurb/story description - 5/5%
I commend you for using interesting questions to attract readers into checking your poems. I also used that strategy in one of my novels and I heard from fellow editors that it was a good way to catch people's attention.

Overall, the description made me nod my head more than once.

• Title - 5/5%
No words needed. I loved it. With the word "sempiternal" alone, your intention with each poem was unearthed. Good job.

Send me a message if you need assistance after this review and I would do what I could to help.