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《Kiitan》The Murderer in Brooksville

Reviewer: olympian_castles

Username: HawtHawtHeatGurl
Story title: The Murderer in Brooksville

Review Criteria:
Cover - 5/5
Title - 5/7
Blurb - 5/7
Hook - 6/6
Plot - 15/15
Setting/Worldbuilding - 13/15
Characters - 15/20
Originality - 2/5
Grammar -5/5
Enjoyment and Engagement - 15/15
Overall - 86/100

First Impression - The first chapter was great, I loved the underlying dark mood. You effectively established your characters, setting and plot without overwhelming the reader. The use of suspense was amazing, the hints were subtle but there and I found myself coming up with theories of what could happen next. The use of red herrings or/and foreshadowing really brought the mystery out in your mystery Novel and could be a great setup for a potential plot twist.

Final thoughts - I love your cover, I think it fits your story well. Your title is a bit generic but it gets the job done and your blurb is a little generic too, I think you should try to add a little more suspense into it. The hook was amazing, starting off with a news channel report might be a little cliche but it gets the job done. The plot, characters and worldbuilding fit together well. This is a really enjoyable story, and it's engaging and interesting. Good job!

Improvements
- More telling and less showing
- Main character need a better motivation
-The motivation you had was a bit spontaneous, maybe make it more personal
- Too much plot armor
- Very cliche/Generic
-You're following a lot of mystery/thriller tropes, maybe you could put a spin on some of them.