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《Rose》Broken Bonds

Reviewer: therosepoetk

Broken Bonds by Leo
ShadowDragon2784

I like the title already, and how it gives that sort of invitation to readers to start assuming things. For example, what kinds of bonds are broken? How does this affect the characters, who influence the course of the story? So you’ve chosen a great title, so good job.

It seems to be that I cannot find your title or credits on your cover, which just seems to be a solid image. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice picture, but it would be better if it were an actual cover instead of just a photo of some sort. Your blurb is extremely lacklustre, I’m sorry to say. Since I do have to be honest with you, the blurb really needs some work.

In it, you should be telling your readers what your fanfic is about, who it involves, what it involves, etc. If it helps, use the 5 Ws and 1 H.

They are who, what, where, when, why, and how - a game changer in writing, if you ask me. The opening was pretty solid and I’m getting an idea of what your fanfiction entails. I might not be the hugest fan of fanfics, but I know how to review them - and I’d say that you did pretty well.

The plot progresses smoothly with your amazing style of second person writing - such a style is rare and hard to master, so I’m really happy for you that you can take control of this kind of writing and make it your own. Grammar is stellar, and I encourage you to put your best foot forward and try out new prompts. I like how you added a ton of details to all of your characters, as that really enhances the reading and visualizing experiences. The emotional appeal is great, and I don’t see much of what you can actually work on in terms of writing. You’re doing wonderful, just make sure that you are getting your story out to the right audiences. Keep up the amazing work Leo!