Rosete | REVIEW SHOP [CLOSED]

《Ana》 Before We Fall

Reviewer :- ceo_kjinnie

Before We Fall by yoursauther

➼COVER (4/10)
The cover was not up to the mark. The images used were not properly aligned and the member's faces are not clear. The color scheme and the fonts used in the cover are not attractive. Also, the author's name was not properly mentioned on your cover. I recommend filling out a form in a good graphic shop for a better cover.

➼TITLE (6/10)
To be honest, I don't get why you’ve gone for the title ‘Before We Fall’ when there are so many other alternatives that would have been better. I did not understand the relation between the title and the storyline. I also suggest writing that it is a BTS fanfiction in the title for readers who use Wattpad solely for reading such books.

➼BLURB (6/10)
The blurb was of the perfect length but it did not have any factors that would intrigue readers and want them to read more. You can start the blurb by giving a little insight into the story (without giving away potential spoilers) and end it with a hook that’ll make readers want to know what happens next.

➼PLOT (9/10)
The plot was actually really interesting. It felt refreshing to see Bangtan with an Indian OC. Most BTS fanfic writers make the female OC or Y/n Korean or any other nationality. It was nice and new to see a desi touch to this fanfic.

➼ORIGINALITY (10/10)
A very original story by the author. Originality is always appreciated, keep it up!

➼ WRITING STYLE (5/10)
Your writing style is what you need to improve on. Your book was written in a screenplay format which is not the right way to write a book. Dialogues should be put in inverted commas (“”) and sentences need to be explained properly rather than just adding context and emotion of characters in brackets. When you started off the book with grieving, I as a reader did not sympathize with the characters. It would have been better if you had given a little bit of context before jumping into emotional scenes.

➼CHARACTER AND STORY DEVELOPMENT (7/10)
Characters were well-defined in your fanfiction. I like Shruti’s badass character the most. You should have explained better the appearances and personalities of each character so that readers connect emotionally to them.
As for the story development, it felt a little slow to me. Pick up the pace a bit and add more content in each chapter.

➼SETTING/WORLDBUILDING (6/10)
Needs to be explained better. I noticed at places like the university cafeteria and such you had added images. I’m not saying the images are invalid but they are not enough in regards to the story-writing. 

➼GRAMMAR & SPELLING (8/10)
Grammar and spelling errors are evident in your book. In most places, it was punctuation and errors with tenses. Make the corrections as soon as possible. I’m sure you already know this but I recommend using Hemmingway Editor/Grammarly while proofreading to make it simpler. You can also fill out a form for an editing shop if you’re too lazy (like me).

➼ENJOYMENT AND ENGAGEMENT (8/10)
I think this is a great book for readers who enjoy romance and action. The story being a mafia!au also makes it easier to attract readers. It’s a great start for a first story. If the above-mentioned corrections are made I’m sure this story is going to feel much better.  Keep updating!

➼OVERALL (69/100)
Thank you for choosing me as your reviewer, it was so much fun doing this review! Have a great day/night.
                        ~Ana