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《June》God's Little Secret

Reviewer: Junective

God's Little Secret by PaulinaKnight

Thank you so much for giving me the chance to review your story.
It was really a good one, I enjoyed it a lot.

❥ Title: The title was very unique and lovely. It really sets the mood of the story.

❥ Cover : The cover was not that eye-catching or attractive, it was the nice but simple cover that actually did not look that well for the type of story your is, as covers are the first thing that draws the reader's attention first. And also the font color also didn't go that well with the cover.

❥ Blurb : So the blurb, I am utterly speechless, you got me turned in the moment I started reading that spectacular blurb. It was written so greatly that it will surely attract a lot of readers.

❥ Storyline: The storyline was good, but it was a bit obvious in some parts. The plot wasn't that unique and I think you should rewrite the beginning part. It felt like everything was moving soo fast. And maybe you should go through the first part once more and try to modify and edit the beginning.

❥ Writing Style: The writing style needs a lot of improvement. The story could be written in more detail so that the readers could visualize the scenes effortlessly. You didn't quite well capture the emotions of the characters. You have interacted with the readers very well. I think you should read the books written by others a lot so that you could improve your writing style.

Also the phone conversation at the beginning of the story, I think you should write the brothers full names ( even though I know that it is a lot of work, it is better that way) because the readers are getting introduced to them. When I was reading that part, each time I had to look at the above message to remember the code. So I recommend you to write their full names so the reader can get more familiar and easier to understand.

❥ Characters: The seven brothers were a lot to remember, I got confused a lot at the beginning but then after reading more I slowly started getting familiar with them. The characters, especially the female lead, their emotions changed from one to another so fast, like one moment you will find her sad, and then you can find her kicking her brothers.

And I also wondered that after getting a lot of hits and whips from her father, how did she managed to run that much, as you have mentioned that the character was out of painkillers. The characters were good But they weren't portrayed that well. I guess you need to work on it a lot.

❥ Grammar and punctuations: OK, so your grammar wasn't that bad, but there were a lot of places that I saw where you lacked punctuation. Use Grammarly, they will take care of typos, punctuations, verb forms, and a lot of other parts in the free part itself. It will help a lot. Don't think this is an advertisement or something, I am just helping your story to get better.

❥ Conclusions: So, in this entire review parts I mostly pointed out your mistakes, but there were a lot of good parts too, like the prank scene. That was smart and wicked, it did make me laugh a lot and I enjoyed reading that part a lot. I loved the way you made her childish but also a bad girl when she have to.

And the blurb, that was soo good, that I was practically soo turned on that I reviewed your book first, and if I was using the point system like the other reviewers, then I would have given full point. So, overall I loved the story and it needs a lot of editing. Keep up the good work!!

Best Wishes...