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《Nihwé》Avenging Antonio

Reviewer: MissRut

My Review on;
AVENGING ANTONIO
Thank you Bloomfalls for your time and trust.

The Cover: This crucial piece of the book allows every reader know one thing; that a woman carries the weight of this story that hinges on a certain history. That being said it may end up looking like some cliché tragic romance to some and could be easily ignored by anyone searching for a good book. It's not totally off but can be better. 4 points.

The title: It's pretty straightforward and allows the audience know that whatever happens is simply because someone is doing their all to get back at someone else who killed someone, in this case; getting revenge on Antonio's behalf. Replace the 're' in revenge with 'a' in Antonio and you get 'avenge'. 5 points.

The Blurb: It's a good piece of inside information that completely agrees with the title and gives an outline for reader's expectations. I will however suggest a critical look at the way punctuations were used to ensure they completely agree with the sentences and the meanings they should convey. The number of paragraphs is a bit over-stretched too. 4 points.

The Setting: Twenty-first century America is home to this new drama. In the secluded and unsuspecting parts of modern civilization, these hidden agendas unfold. The bloodbaths that come with the innovation of technology is gory. The scenes extend to Mexico where there is drastic change in living arrangements but America is the main hub for the crazy happenings. 12 points.

The Plot: Widowed Capo di tutti does her all to continue in her husband's footsteps and find every possible way to crush the one responsible for her seeming never-ending heartache. Along the line, unexpected variables show up and threaten to make her lose her composure as the hard and ruthless outer shell she worked so hard to build gives way to tiny cracks. Underneath, she is just like every other woman without enough love. This is proven when her family is attacked and she takes the blame for it, a total stranger and business partner finds out about her son and ultimately strengthens his resolve to know her much better. This is one of the most unique plots I have ever come across and I'm sure anyone would enjoy the unpredictable turn of events. 9 points.

The Characters: Davina wears an armor of steel and leads her late husband's mafia to finding the one responsible for his death while catering for her son who is hidden from the world, ensuring her family is safe even where she has a lot of enemies by staying away from them and refusing all possibilities that suggest she finds another love.
Martins is Davina's best friend and tries to be there for her even when all she wants is to push him away. Cole Wilson, the son of Mr. Wilson, head of a mafia that joined forces with Davina's. He's a curious one and finds himself wanting to know more about this female Capo di tutti, especially the parts she doesn't want him to.
Salvador is the man walking with the largest target on his back artfully placed by a vengeful woman for killing her husband and still does his best to tamper with all her dealings and ultimately endanger her family.
There are a lot of other character that exist either as family or associates. They play in and out of the storyline like a rehearsed play but their roles are relatable. Everyone has been through some sort of pain or the other and the way they pick up the pieces can move one to tears. Eventually things look up and there is a semblance of hope. 4 points.

The Content: There's a generous serving of bloodshed with ruthlessness on the side. Each serving is accompanied by a hearty dose of quarrels, misunderstanding and poor communication. For dessert, a tall glass of heartbreaking family drama as well as questions of the unknown existing in history.
It's a filling thrill to follow up but it gets a bit dry when almost every conversation between the protagonist and those around her always leads to butting heads. Things go from zero to hundred in a matter of seconds and that is unhealthy for the storyline if occurring too many times back to back in every chapter. 16 points.

Writing Style: The number one thing I notice is the 'what a boy can do, a girl can do better' theme although the totality of how it works out is a bit cringe inducing even if exciting. It's obvious that Davina is supposed to be a cold character to the bone but the way she transitions to being a bit softer so fast is not exactly cooperating with her character. Things also seem to skyrocket or snowball in the blink of an eye. Taking the readers by surprise is a good idea but not throwing them off balance. I'm sure everyone wants Davina to end up with Cole but he fit into her life to easily not to mention she skipped the denial stage. 8 points.

Grammar, Vocabulary & Sentence Structure: I suggest a follow on Instagram; https://www.instagram.com/writingtipss/ as well as a thorough study on exactly how mafias work.
As good as every other feature of this book might be, the greatest hiccup is in the detail of the dialogue. For instance, when discussing about guns, I know a good chunk of readers would like to know what types of guns, their names and all that little stuff. In addition, there should be more use of conjunctions. If two or more shorter sentences are used closely together, they can be joined without breaking the flow.
There's a noticeable lack of punctuation in a lot of sentences as well and they're usually after a conversation ends. If someone says something in another language and the translation has to be present, then it should come immediately after what was said before the following reaction. When a statement is made in relation to the supremacy of one factor, there's no need to point out the inferiority of the others around it. There's also a bit of over exaggeration with expressions and adjective usage. Davina also says "it's pretty' one too many times. Employing the use of synonyms goes a long way. 13 points.

Engagement with the readers: It's one of those hookers for sure. The story can hold an audience quite well since everyone wants to know where the next plot twist would be. 14 points.

Total Points; 89/100