it's so hard to live with regrets (requested)

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Sana closed the front door behind her as she walked inside her house. It's after four in the morning and she's exhausted.

She hasn't been able to sleep at all tonight.

It was hard to get any rest when she was trying to sleep in a bed that was so unfamiliar, belonging to the girl Sana has been seeing to try to move on after you broke up just a couple of weeks ago.

It was too fast and she knew it. She knew she'd jumped into a relationship too quickly.

To be honest, Sana wouldn't even call it a relationship. More of a rebound, something to take her mind off of how much her heart aches because she misses you so terribly.

She's not proud of it, she's pretty disappointed in herself for it, actually.

But what else was she supposed to do when she's so heartbroken because she lost you and it's all her fault as to why?

She can't seem to get the night it all happened out of her head. She came home late and she got into a pretty bad mood as you talked about how much you miss her.

Your time together had been so scarce. You'd been dating for nine months at that time but with so much to do as one of the biggest comebacks for the group approached, she was barely home, and you missed her.

She'd had a bad day and went on and on about how you should've known that this could happen.

She told you that you should've known that comebacks like this are bound to happen, ones more serious and more important than ever, and she just couldn't be home with you all the time, although she wanted that more than anything.

She was a little defensive that night, mostly because she was under so much pressure and stress.

She didn't say all the things she wanted to say, the things she meant to say, such as how she felt the same as you and wished she could just lay in the bed you once shared and hold you close, never letting go.

But instead, you got emotional as she snapped a little and you left to stay with a friend.

You texted her the next day that you needed to take a break. You needed to clear your head a bit and your feelings had been hurt.

Now Sana is alone in the house you once shared.

That's what she calls it now - a house. It was once home. But it was only home when you were there.

Now it's just a house that was much too big for her, much too quiet and lonely.

She sat on the sofa with her head in her hands, tangling her fingers through her hair so much that it was a complete mess, much like she felt inside.

She got up and decided to go upstairs to the place she sleeps, the lonely and cold bed that's too big for her to sleep in on her own.

She laid down and pulled out the photo of the two of you that she keeps under her pillow.

She sniffled as she stared at her, tears filling her eyes as she remembered the moment it was taken by Mina. You were kissing her cheek, both of them cupped in your hands as she giggled happily.

It's one of her favorites. She can't get rid of it.

She tried to close her eyes and sleep. She knew she needed it. She hasn't had a good night's sleep since... well, the last night you spent together.

She'd arrived home late and she was only there for a couple of hours before she had to return to practice. But she was able to hold you and sleep well and that's what mattered most to her.

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