Playing with my food. (Horror sans X Reader)

Dinner

This chapter marks the official end of the Kill the Cows series. Thank you for sticking along and we hope you'll be staying with us for the rest of the ride!

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{Right, now that we're back on track, I can begin this chap with a ✨Flashback✨}

"Wash your hands we gotta make dinner." Farm instructed, drying his own as Horror muttered something ungrateful. Being forced to such a low level of basic hygiene when no one cared. How insulting. 

"I know. I'm not a slob." Horror hissed, joining Farm at the drying rack to remove the water from his slick phalanges. 

"I beg to differ." Farm uttered, quickly ducking out the way of a slap coming from Horror. "Joking! I'm joking!" 

Horror growled as Farm chuckled dismissively. He'd been enduring jabs and 'jokes' all evening. From being called a numbskull to his hygiene currently under attack. 

"Let's go to the kitchen and get started." Farm said, leading Horror to the kitchen where they quickly got started. "Grab the potatoes, and I'll fill the pots with the water and stuff."

"Right." Horror replied, getting the potatoes and watching Farm slice them up and throw them into a pot full of boiling hot water. "Then we eat." 

"Hey! We're cooking not eating!" 

Farm swatted Horror as the latter hissed and dropped a small potato that was supposed to go into dinner. Cooking was not at all Horror's forte. He could only make head-dogs, and those were outlawed in everywhere he'd been so far.

Not like that would stop him of course, as a fugitive hopping from city to city and sticking to the streets, he was all too familiar with law breaking. When he mentioned this, he learned that apparently, Farm was too. 

"Focus on the stove, the pot, the heat... anything except the food." Farm demanded, swiftly slicing the small potato into pieces before dropping them into the boiling pot. "C'mon at least try." 

Horror swallowed the saliva building in his mouth. Just focus for a little while and then eat everything. If it wasn't a potato he had, it'd be the finished product. Three of them were already consumed without Farm noticing anyways, what's a tad more time on the waiting end of things?

"Make sure you pay attention to the amounts you put in." Farm huffed, stirring quickly as Horror lazily leaned on the counter. He stared Horror down, somewhat contempt with his lack of care. 

"I'll just eyeball it." Horror mused, pointing to his not empty eye socket with a casual grin. Perhaps it was playfulness creeping into his demeanor, or he was just a small bit loopy from the hunger. 

"No you won't." Farm sighed, sliding behind Horror and grabbing him by the wrists, guiding his hands to make sure all the measurements were correct. "The seasonings are important. You don't want too much of any one thing." 

That shut Horror up immediately. A quiet gasp came from him as his body tensed, stiffly moving along with Farm's rough direction. Sure, he was getting off task, but this was beyond uncalled for. 

"H-Hey!" Horror snapped, slamming his heel into Farm's foot defensively. "Hands off I'm fine!" 

Farm yelped, jumping back and returning to the pot to stir as Horror added all the ingredients in the correct amounts. The two of them glared heatedly at each other the whole time, though there was no real tension between them. 

"You've got some nerve." Horror accused, watching the potatoes boil as Farm continued to stir whatever glop he was making. He side eyed his cooking partner sourly, cursing the fact that they ever were unfortunate enough to meet. 

"Actually, I don't." Farm spat matter-of-factly. "Real skeletons don't let things under their skin. Or get on their nerves." 

Horror flared up as if about to say something, but rested his case, grabbing a strainer and draining most of the potato water into the sink. He left about a half inch, like the instructions said, and looked solemnly to Farm for further instruction. 

"Suddenly it's so quiet." Farm muttered venomously. He was provoking Horror, but came up unsuccessful as his victim simply took a deep breath, gaze solid but not hard or icy. 

"You know what this is petty." Farm declared, easily giving up the argument due to his extreme lack of care. "Grab the potato masher. It's beef and potatoes tonight so we better hurry." 

Nodding affirmatively, Horror grabbed the potato masher. Briefly glancing to Farm for clarity, he started crushing potatoes within the metal prongs of the monstrosity that was the potato masher. 

While Horror did that, Farm tasted his suspicious brown substance, humming delightfully as he offered Horror a taste. Predictably, it was immediately accepted, and even appreciated.

"Good I guess." Horror said, turning the once starchy vegetables into a whitish mush. It was thick  but fluffy, and probably needed some milk or cream to smooth out the taste and texture. 

"Well we're not done yet." Farm informed Horror, grabbing the cream— as expected— and pouring it in. "I'll just eyeball it." He said mockingly, capping the cream and putting it back in the fridge. 

"I thought we were over that..." Horror grumbled, mixing in the cream with slight agitation. A piece of cream cheese was also dropped in, along with a cut of butter and a few shakes of salt. 

"We are." Farm replied easily, winking playfully under Horror's stare. "After all, we are skeletons." 

"Got that right I suppose." Horror agreed, shrugging as he finished mixing everything in the pot. The mashed potatoes were a bit lighter, whiter and smoother as expected.

"Now we wait." Farm said, waltzing out of the kitchen as Horror lingered for a moment or two, blinking, completely dumbfounded. "Coming?" 

"Yeah." Horror said, following along as he eyed the stove suspiciously. Weren't they supposed to watch the food or something? The stove was turned of by then but it still worried him in the slightest. 

"I'll be right there." He confirmed, a bout of cheer spreading through his chest as he took a moment to appreciate the food. The good feels were finally starting to come back. 

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Oh my gosh I wrote this in like 20 minutes wtf also what is that ending 👀...?? 

Hey guys guess guess what. No seriously guess. Guess who's been typing all flipping day. Answer is...

me.

I've been finishing up some oc oneshots at school... I need someone (anyone say the word I triple dog dare you) anyone... maybe even a group of someones to review them. It's kinda my first time writing out the characters (my characters) so I need to make sure I captured them correctly... plus it's PREMIUM lore guys!! One time offer c'mon I'm in need and my friend isn't enough variation. Also working double time on ao3 to finish a chapter that's MORE THAN 12 hours late hahahahahahaha (going mad)... oh but wait sorry I think I'm under the influence I'll fix this later when I'm more sane... sorry you had to read this ugh I just cannot stop typing it's been like 14 hours all I can do is write write write write write write write write draw animate write write write write write wrte write aggghhhhhh. 

 Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

- De Moogus 

(P.s I think I am legitimately unhinged rn wtaf. I'm usually so composed but I can't rn.)