11.11

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TRIGGER WARNING: In this chapter, Helena will be dealing grief and the feelings it provokes

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TRIGGER WARNING:
In this chapter, Helena will be dealing grief and the feelings it provokes. If you feel this could potentially be triggering to you, please skip to the next chapter.

These themes will continued to be discussed in later chapters, though less heavily.

——

Helena had spent the night at the hospital they had been left at, waiting for Meredith to be ready to leave. She'd set camp in the waiting room, lulling her girls to sleep. Then, she'd sat in silence, too drained to do much else. And she'd waited for her person.

After leaving the kids home, she'd returned to the hospital. She knew she had to break the news. She just couldn't imagine how she could do such a thing.

"Derek is dead." Helena heard Meredith mutter, as she entered the doctors lounge.

"What was that?" Callie asked.

"Derek is dead." Meredith repeated, as the short doctor's eyes filled with tears once again.

"Meredith...?" Owen called out. "He's not dead."

"Meredith, what do you mean? Meredith?" Richard called out.

"What do you mean? Meredith." Callie tried.

At that, Helena spoke up, teary eyed. "Derek is dead. Mark is dead. They're- they're both... dead."

By her side, Helena felt Meredith collapse, immediately falling to her knees as to help her.

——

"Lena." A voice called out, the next day, as to wake her. She had not slept. "Lena, good morning."

Helena tried to pretend it was her husband. If she ignored the feminine voice, if she pretended it came form her left side and not her right, if she tried hard enough, maybe it could sound like Mark. Maybe.

But this voice didn't call her "Lee." There was only one person that would call her that way. And, now, she would never be "Lee" again.

Helena let her eyes flutter open, though they did not become as wide as usual, still swollen. Seeing Arizona standing by her door, she muttered. "Hi."

"Morning." The blond smiled softly, sitting by Helena's feet, on the bed. "How are you?"

The younger woman went silence for a moment, at that, before letting out. "I don't... can't do this, Arizona. I-I don't think I can do this. It's just... it's too hard. It's too much. It's all too much."

"We'll all help you do what you can't, Lena. I promise." The blond suggested. "Let's get you into the shower, ok?

——

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