Seductive Vibrations Book One To Four

Book Two Chapter Thirty-Six

"Well" I don't like his reaction to this at all, he clearly isn't happy.

"Well, I guess we have to deal with it, I know it isn't the best timing, but we just need to deal with it. It's happened, yes I would have liked more time with you, but I don't want to lose our baby for that" 

I don't know what to reply, I don't even know how I feel about it at all. I just knew I don't want to lose any time with him. He gently lifts me to sit on the desk in front of him kissing me passionately.

"It mean's sex won't be as much fun anymore, because I won't be risking it at all"

He kisses me, and I push him back rolling my eyes.

"Seriously, we can still have sex Jackson" I laugh at him shaking my head.

"Yes, but nothing rough, a light spank on the bum, yes, but nothing rough. Just my choice, no whips certainly no whips Alena" He shrugs I feel like rolling my eyes again.

"So, I got everything and now I lose it again?" I don't like the idea of having normal sex every day. It feels weird, I need more.

"No, you can be bound lightly, you can be spanked lightly, but most things are off limits till the little man arrives" Jackson smiles putting his hand on my stomach and I laugh.

"Little man? It could be a girl Jackson" I continue laughing.

"I am not sure about this though, I don't even know if I am ready" I have to be honest, am scared, I feel sicker than before and I want to hide in a corner and hope it is just a dream.

"You have me, and that is all you need. We can work it out, we don't need to run from this" 

He kisses me gently on the lips he looked so happy. It makes me think of Tallulah and how much his heart must be breaking at the same time.

"Honestly, how do you feel Jackson? You tell me to be honest and that we need to always be honest about things" I look at him waiting.

"I am happy, of course I am yes, I feel sad and scared beyond control, I don't want to lose another child, but I am happy" He smiles pulling me to him. 

"Alena, you make me happy, this week is one of the best, you became my wife and we are having a baby. How could I not be happy"? I still feel scared and sick though.

"Let's plan" He smiles, pulling the laptop towards us.

"Jackson it is a bit early for that, don't you think. We don't even know how far I am" He honestly wants to plan?

"We can plan, we can book a scan, plan what to buy, plan the bedroom, seriously we need to plan"

I can't hold in my laughter,

"How about we just book the scan first yes?" I look at him and he nods, pulling me onto his lap as he opens the laptop. He is busy typing away

"Right all booked for tomorrow, private is quicker" He smiles kissing me, I doubt we will even see much.

"Tomorrow we meet our baby" He smiled, he is happy and right now nothing could destroy that.

"We need to get everyone together and tell them, my mum will be so happy" He smiles, I still feel like he is hiding something.

"Can we wait till tomorrow, just so we know everything is okay?" 

I ask, worried in case my drinking over the wedding has caused damage, the whole bedroom, the pressure on my stomach from being bent over the table for ages.

"Not even able to tell my mum?" He looks at me, I shake my head.

"We have gone crazy, anything could have happened, and I have been drinking as well" 

I point out, hoping he realises I wasn't saying it to be mean, but I didn't want everyone saying congratulations for it to not go well. 

I feel mean, it is like me telling him something bad could have happened after Tallulah he can't feel good hearing my words, but I don't want congratulations and everyone celebrating until I know for sure.

"Okay, but tomorrow we can?" 

He is smiling, I feel awful for saying no to everything he wants so I agree and nod, I should move soon and cook it is nearly dinner time. He grabs me and kisses me, as his phone begins to ring. 

Answering it, he looks devastated, he walks out the room talking, and I wonder what could have happened, something has because he doesn't want to talk about it in front of me. 

He comes back in, he tries to smile, but I can see it is fake.

"I need to leave tonight, I know it is short notice, but I was only given the time to come home to marry you" 

He looks happy but sad at the same time. I look at his still bruised face, how was this going to work? How could I go through pregnancy alone if he keeps leaving?

"It will be for two weeks, maybe three. Tomorrow is booked and paid for so go. You won't be needed in the business. Everything else I told them to let the security and staff sort" 

Standing I just stare at him, we only got married yesterday!

"I wish I could refuse, I can't Alena you have to understand that, this is the last mission I will be on though. The first part should have been completed but hasn't been" He starts kissing me.

"I am asking Georgina to come move in while I am away to watch you" I need to snap out of this black depressive hole, it is hard, but I have to. It is not just me and him no more it is us and a baby.

"I will be fine, I will be reading a lot about pregnancy and baby stuff, I want you to come tomorrow though. I don't want the first time I see our baby to me alone with you somewhere else" I don't want that. I want us to see our baby together for the first time.

"I doubt we will find anywhere with a slot with today, we have 4 hours before I leave so we can try?" 

He smiles, grabbing the laptop, I sat there waiting he rings around places, my mind not taking in what he is saying, I don't want to meet our baby and him not be there, it is the first scan he has to come. He looks at me and smiled.

"Found and booked, costing me double but we will see our baby together," He says it looking at me like we haven't just been told he has to leave.

"I just wished I could do something to stop you going to make it, so you didn't have to go" I wish there was some way I could.

"You're over thinking all of this, there is nothing that can be done to change it now. I have to go on the mission, nothing can stop that happening not even finding out you're pregnant" 

"I have a contract Alena, I agreed, so I have to finish it. You can look for a way to keep me home, but you will be wasting the few hours we have left in the misery of never getting the answer you long for" 

His reply is blunt but with compassion, but I know he is right.

"Now can we get ready and go for this scan and meet our baby? Just forget everything and everyone else and enjoy this moment together before I leave?" 

His question directed at me, I nod and agree. Getting to the clinic I feel scared, what if something is wrong? Why am I always so focused on what if's? 

It is like my whole life was beginning to be what if's. Sitting we wait, and finally get called through. The scan starts, and I can barely hear the whispers. 

She didn't tell us much she just keeps whispering, and one of the ladies left coming back with a man, this can't be good. He peers at the screen and began to see if he could find the baby. I feel my heart break, something has happened.