Seductive Vibrations Book One To Four

Book Three Chapter Seven

"Let's just talk about it later and go sit with Marcus" 

I didn't give him a chance to argue, I walked into the room sitting by his bed, wondering how Jackson managed to even breath with him gone, I had not known him long. 

Yet he left his imprint something that would always be there, and always be missed if he didn't pull through. We sat there all night, even I knew we had to go home at some point. 

We couldn't expect everyone to watch the girls all day. I decided I would go home, and if I could I would come back later to support Jackson more. 

He was at least nearly back to normal, sure unbalanced, but I recognized his eyes now.

"I am going to go home, see the girls and give everyone a break" I told him, as I stood to leave. His hand grabbed mine, he looks like a lost child, he shook his head and I now feel stuck.

"Why not come home with me? Get a shower, food and we can maybe bring, Maria some food back, she has not left Marcus's side, she needs to eat" 

My best suggestion, that way he was with me, but could come back later and I would be here to support him. We said goodbye to Maria and I drove us home, worn out, I could have just go straight to bed. 

I spent the morning with the girls, Jackson just staying hidden, I wondered why though. By around one, Georgina came in and smiled at me.

"Go get some rest, we are fine with the girls, you look too worn out" 

I nod, hugging her I walk to our room. Jackson laid on the bed, a towel wrapped around him asleep. 

Climbing in the bed I cuddle up to him falling asleep straight away.

Waking up, looking around the room, Jackson nowhere in sight. I got up walking downstairs.

"Where is Jackson?" I look at Georgina and Liam.

"He hasn't come down yet" 

Liam answered so no one has seen him walking back upstairs to look for him again, I walked into one of the playrooms he liked to call them dungeons. 

He was sitting on the floor, he's holding a whip, turning it and feeling it. Walking over I sit down next to him, my hand sitting on the whip.

"It isn't the exact same as my favourite, but it is close I can't believe he took my whip" I can't believe he was so upset over a whip.

"A whip is replaceable, you have hundreds more, so there is no need to worry" I point out.

"Tell me the truth, did you really feel sorry for him?" 

I looked at him, unsure if I should answer or not and if I do should it be the truth? I guess it is best I was honest, because if not and he realises it would just cause more problems. 

"Honestly, yes" 

I watched as his face changed like he had just been stabbed in the chest. "I then looked at him, and realised that I didn't care. At first yes, I did like you would if you saw a stranger in that condition. 

"For a split second I forgot about what he had done but it was just a second" My eyes watching his, waiting for his response.

"I don't understand you Alena, why would you go in that room and see him? Why would you walk and stand so close and listen to him?" 

I wish I could answer, but I have no idea why I did. Thinking back, I hate myself he had hurt me, Jackson and Marcus he had taken Jackson from me, taken me from our babies yet I felt compelled to go in that room.

"What was he saying?" He looked at me waiting.

"I don't even know, all I know is I walking passed I asked to go in, I walked up to him he didn't say a thing. I wondered if he could even see me" 

That is the best way I can answer his first question.

"He was saying what you did to him, that you are a beast and you changed me, how I wouldn't have fought back or argued and now I do" 

I watched as his face fell.

"I am ashamed of how far I went, I just saw Marcus there on the floor, images of you flooding my mind from when he had hurt you, I couldn't control myself that has never happened before"

"He said something about pictures as well" Closing my mouth quickly, please don't say he heard me, I have decided it is best to leave it, to not bring that part up.

"What about pictures?" He looked at me, and I start to shake my head. "It does not matter right now" He didn't look like he agreed.

"No, what pictures Alena?" 

He looked at me, my mouth running away with itself before giving me time to process it or not, that got me in this situation so now I have no choice but to tell him.

"He said he as pictures of you, but not with me. Another woman, brunette, he said you looked perfect together and how she was the perfect submissive" 

My heart breaking, the wonder in my mind if it is true.

"That is just crazy if he had them he would have sent them rather than our pictures it would have made us break up. There are no pictures, that is why he can't give you them"

"He said I can see them, that there is a bag under the bed with a camera in. Where you had caught him, he said all the pictures were on there" 

I don't want to go and get them, if it was true it would destroy me, if it wasn't the fact I didn't trust Jackson would tip him over the edge.

"Do you want to go for them? I have nothing to hide Alena, before you yes there were relationships but not even one since that night I met you. I couldn't even if I wanted to, something just doesn't feel right even thinking about using Seductive Vibrations, doesn't feel right" 

My mind thought back to the three months I had been gone, the three months he kept fighting to find me and wasn't giving up, he wouldn't have done that if he was cheating.

"No, I don't want to. Thing is, even if you were cheating, I wouldn't want to know. I know it sounds wrong, stupid and vain but I am happy with you if that means closing my eyes and pretending something doesn't exist I will. I do trust you though, 100% Jackson and nothing he says will change that"

"I don't feel like me anymore, I feel lost like a part of me is wandering between the worlds trying to get back and it can't" He is clearly still hurting. I moved to do the only thing I could to take his mind off the pain even if only for a short while.