Seductive Vibrations Book One To Four

Book Four Chapter Twenty-Seven

Jacksons arms wrapping around me, taking the gun off me.

"Did you see who it was?" I should have stopped her from leaving, I should have chased her with her own gun, I should have fought for him.

"Roxy" Jacksons shock showing on his face, his arms cuddling me, as I break down in his arms. 

It feels like Jackson dying all over again, the pain is unbearable, I will do anything to get rid of this feeling. 

Jackson lifts me up, carrying me to the sofa, sitting me down, I stare outside where he said goodbye.

"This is how she was when we said you were dead" Liam is looking at me, disbelief on his face, but it is.

"Actually, it's worse I think she never believed you were dead but now she's watched him die there is no denying it" 

The pain is the same, I feel like someone has ripped my heart out my chest and is slowly cutting pieces off, watching them fall to the floor I can't escape, pulling my legs up I hide myself crying. 

Why does the world hate me so much it takes everyone I love away? Staying here, I just stare at that spot, the last memory of Marcus in my mind, his goodbye, him telling me he loved me. I can't move, I can't say goodbye, not to Marcus, I can't do it. 

I don't think I can move, if I take my eyes from that spot I will lose him forever, the blood on my hands, I should have saved him. Everyone walking in, the police came, asking me questions, I can see their lips moving but there is no sound, no sound just silence and Marcus's last words on replay. 

I watch as Troy, Alexander and the other lads come in, all staring at me, unsure what to say. 

Jackson giving my space, my heart breaking seeing every one of their faces, the pain of the loss, hours pass by, everyone walking around, talking but I take none of it in. 

"Alena, go get a shower, please do something" Jackson, kneeling in front of me, but I can't move, I can't go away I can't do it.

"I don't know how to help her" Jackson's words quiet, no one can help, Marcus has gone, I watched myself he isn't coming back. 

This isn't like Jackson, where there is no body, no proof, I saw the body and felt it drain of life and turn cold in my hands.

"Marcus would be the one to tell me what to do" Jacksons head lowers, Marcus was more than his friend, and his brother, he was his mentor. 

I need to be strong for him, this will no doubt be hurting him more than me. Getting up, I walk upstairs quietly, Jackson watching, but not following, walking into the bathroom, I turn the shower on. 

Why is this dream not ending? Standing in the shower, I watch as the blood runs away with the water, looking at the mirror, his blood on my face, everywhere, and I couldn't save him. 

He's gone, he has really gone, all those times I said I would choose Jackson, and I couldn't walk away, I now wonder was I right? His last memories are finding out he might be a dad, to have them taken away. 

I destroyed him, slowly falling on the shower floor, I begin to cry, the water still running red, as it washes the blood from my skin and clothes. I don't know how long I have being here, all I know is Jackson walked in and picked me up, the water no long tainted red, taking my clothes off, he dries me, wrapping a robe around my body, he walks me to the bed. 

Lying down, I feel numb, lost and like I have nothing left, Jackson's arms wrapping around me, listening to my cries as I fall into a sleep, the awful visions that just replayed the whole night over and over, his last words haunting my dreams, his face relaxing as he took his last breath, his heart beating for the last time.