Seductive Vibrations Book One To Four

Book Four Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Alena" Turning Jackson is behind me, all I want is time alone, isolated from everyone and he won't give me it, why is he following me?

"Please don't run from this" I can't believe he said that, of everything he could say he chose that?

"How would I even start to run away from this? You see this?" My finger taps my head hard.

"This reminds me every second of what happened, not giving me a second peace not even in my dreams Jackson, so how can I run from my own mind? How about this?" I stab at my heart, wishing it worked and killed me so it ended the pain I am in.

"This doesn't stop hurting, every time part is being crushed, what am I meant to be able to run away from my heart as well? If I could run believe me I would, but there is no escaping my mind, the torture the blood, his last words or the pain I felt when he stopped breathing, while I screamed for anyone, anyone to help" He steps closer, tears in his eyes.

"I understand, I do Alena" Shaking my head I back up a few steps.

"Did you hold someone as they took their last breath, knowing there is a chance they would survive if you just knew what to do? Have you Jackson? Did you hold someone watching their blood spill out as they say their final goodbye and take their last breath alone with you?" Standing I look at him waiting for his answer.

"No, I haven't but I know grief, I lost Katie, and I held my baby, Tallulah, not breathing and had to say goodbye, I know how you feel Alena, please don't push me out" He steps forward, he does know about grief, I don't. Marcus is the first person I know that has died, my grandparents died before I could even remember.

"He's gone Jackson, he's really gone" Looking at him, I fight back the sobs, my eyes clouding from the salty tears, Jackson rushing to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Let's go see the girls, you need something positive, you need to see the girls, we are only a minute away now anyway" Nodding Jackson wraps his arm around my waist, walking to the cottage, I stand outside looking at it. 

"I can't do it, I can't walk in there and pretend everything is fine, I just can't" I don't know how he thinks I can. 

"Then don't, you're not here to fake being happy, you're here to see the girls, to cuddle them and remember why Marcus would risk his life for you, even if he knew he would die. Don't let Marcus's death be for nothing Alena, he wouldn't want that" 

Nodding we walk into the cottage, Liam and Georgina sat with the girls, both of them looking at me, I can't do this, being forced to be around people really isn't what I want. 

Georgina gets up and walks towards us, her arms hugging me, Jackson walks to Liam and the girls.

"Stupid question, but how do you feel?" Looking at her I fight back the cries and screams I want to let out.

"Honestly, in a way, I wish the baby was Marcus's now, I would still have a bit of him to hold onto" She looks at me shocked, but it is the truth, I would have a part of Marcus, something that would keep his family going, now there is nothing at all.

"Come see the girls, they have missed you" Nodding I walk into the room, trying to smile, hugging them, I think of Marcus and what he would want.

"We were saying, until things settle down, police go and what not, the girls can stay here, you come here during the day, stay get them settled and go home?" 

I am not sure, I mean I don't want them there with police and everything, but I also don't know if I can leave them for that long.

"Look, how about now, we spend the day here with them, have tea here, get them in bed then go home?" Jackson looks at me, trying to make me see the sense in them staying away from the house.