I'm in Love with a Stripper (Oumasai Fanfic)

Hollywood Bitch

Shuuichi's POV

"Ooh! Sweetie! Look! Look at this!"

Kokichi picked up a gold statue that had the words " World's Best Husband" on the bottom.

" I was thinking of buying this for you! Would you put it on your desk at work?"

" My desk is already covered with pictures of you, as well as other things you got for me. Can't I just leave it on my desk at home?"

" No! How else are people gonna be able to tell that you're the best husband ever!"

" Why don't I buy it for *You* instead."

He started pouting.

" But I'm not a good husband..."

" Yes you are."

" No I'm not. Technically I'm cheating on you by sleeping with other people."

" Yeah but it's your job, I trust that you'll always come back home to me."

" I wanna to quit, I wanna just be yours... But I can't... I wouldn't be able to buy you nice expensive things if I didn't whore myself out... Then I wouldn't have been able to pay for this entire honeymoon..."

" You don't need to buy me expensive things... I'm fine with just living a peaceful normal life with you."

" I know but I want a big ass house on like a hill something. And we're not gonna get that on just your salary."

" Kokichi you really don't need to buy me some plastic statue, I already know that I'm the best husband I can be to you."

" That's true you are!"

So he put it back and grabbing on to my arm we walked out the store.

" Shuuichi wouldn't it be amazing if we had our own reality tv show like the Kardashians?!"

" That honestly sounds like a nightmare..."

" What do you mean?"

" The thought of broadcasting our entire life for millions of people to see for their entertainment sounds terrible. I'm fine with people not knowing who we are. What would our show even be about?"

" I dunno. Following the life of your stripper husband.  But wait... Over half of our life would have to get cut out cuz it mostly consists of us fucking, and only some people would wanna watch that."

" WAIT!! Is a sex based reality tv show a thing?! Can we make that a thing?! Can we call up Brazzers and make this shit happen?! Shuuichi remind to look that up later."

" You need to look that up later."

" I meant- *Sigh* It's fine."

" Where do you want to go now?"

" Ummmmmmm.... Anywhere is fine. Actually... Let's go to a strip club."

" Why would you want to go there? You hate it when other strippers look at me."

" Don't get the wrong idea babes, I just wanna see if these American girls even come close to the skill that I posses. Cuz you got some girls out here with the whole build a thot package but they don't know what the fuck they're doing! And quite frankly it offends me that their called strippers. Stripping is an art! It took me at least 2 years to learn all the tricks."

I'm not sure where this came from but Kokichi seems genuinely upset about this, I guess its probably because he's been doing this for awhile.

Later

" Why the fuck am I the one that got kicked out?! You know whats the real crime here?!?! Whoever did that girl's ass!! Her hips were lopsided! Her plastic surgeon deserves jail time!!"

Kokichi ended up getting kicked out because he insulted every stripper his eyes laid on. He insulted them from the way their bodies look to the fact that they should probably spend more time with their kids. Nothing was off limits for him.

" I'm sure Iruma could do a better job then all them combined! And I don't even like the bitch but at least she knows what she's doing."

" Ooh... They're lucky we're not back home, cuz if we were I would've called Kuzuryuu and told him to end all their bloodlines! You think he has any connections in the American mafia...?"

" No Kokichi, you're not doing that."

" Fine I won't have all those bitches murdered.... I'll just wait until we get out the state first!" 

" *Sigh* I'm calling your sister."

" Why?"

" Cuz I need to rant to somebody and she'll listen to me."

" I'll listen to you."

" I know. But she just gets it."

He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and started talking to my sister. I then pinched his cheek, it's a signal Kokichi and I came up with for when he's being way too loud in public, it's not subtle but it works for us. After he quieted down a little more. I held the hand that wasn't holding his phone and I squeezed it tightly.

" Hold on girl... Shuuichi! Another gift shop! Your sister wants me to get her something."

" Alright."

He looked up at me and gave me that adorable smile of his and I gave him a kiss on the forehead.