Chapter 319 Develop Feelings With You
Edison chuckled self deprecatingly, finishing his coffee in one gulp before gently placing the cup on the table.
Edison was still talking, and his voice was cold and indifferent. “In fact, I also know that this method is to plot against your feelings, but because of my interiority, L…”
“Is it because of your background?” Ziana interjected, frowning. “I’ve never looked down on you because of that.”
“I know! But I still feel interior. I am insecure about how important Boris is to you and about not being able to match up with him. I am insecure about the three-year marriage and the child you have with him.” Edison’s eyes seemed to be slightly moistened. He said, “I’m afraid that I won’t be able to compete with him, and I’m afraid of losing you again…”
The smile on Ziana’s face faded away as well.
Ziana looked at Edison and spoke slowly, “You don’t need to compare yourself to him, you don’t need to compare with the past, and you certainly don’t need to feel inferior because of him. If I didn’t want to let go, I wouldn’t have agreed to divorce him. My feelings have always been passionate and straightforward. When I love someone, no matter what happens, as long as I still love him, I won’t let go.”
“I won’t let go even if I have to pay with my life for this.” Although Ziana’s voice was soft, it was firm. “Since I’ve let go, I’m not going to turn back.”
“But it seems like he’s pursuing you now.”
“So what?” Ziana asked, shrugging lightly. “In my opinion, he’s not pursuing me.’
“If he really pursues you again one day, will you fall for him again and choose him?” Edison asked, his voice trembling as he twiddled his fingers. “What I want to ask is, do you still love him?”
Ziana put down her coffee cup and leaned back in her chair.
Ziana looked at Edison, smiling and shaking her head with sincerity and frankness. “I don’t love him anymore, and I can’t love him anymore. I have to admit that my emotions still fluctuate because of him. I will be angry, silent, and emotional because of what he said. It is normal. Fortunately, emotions can be controlled.”
“At least I think his influence on me now is not as strong as it was in Japera City.”
“You see, that’s progress, right?” Ziana continued, “He’s someone I’ve loved before, but so what? In one’s lifetime, it’s impossible to only love one person forever, and he’s even someone who’s hurt my feelings, so I have to be a bit sensible. If you really must ask me, what are my feelings for him now…”
“How should I put it? Let me use an analogy.” Ziana stroked her hair, revealing her smooth forehead and a pair of misty eyes.
She raised her chin slightly, looked out of the window, and fixed her eyes on the moon hanging in the sky.
“Boris is like this moon. I once yearned for him and chased after him eagerly, but I never received his favor and love. However, during the process of chasing the moon, I was also illuminated by its light. Although he didn’t love me, I experienced excitement and happiness because of him. The throbbing and secret joy that he brought me formed the old me.
“That’s why whenever I see the moon, I will always reminisce about that period of time. However, I am very clear that what I reminisce about isn’t that moon, but rather the past me who was completely devoted and fervently chasing after the moon, as well as the old time. Can you understand?”
Edison understood.
Ziana’s words did not express how deeply she loved Boris or how difficult it was for her to forget him.
Ziana was reminiscing about herself back then, just like every adult always missed their school days.
But were they missing studying?
No.
They were missing those carefree days.
It was the days of youthful exuberance.
It was days of recklessness, youthfulness, and ambition when they dared to change the world.
Boris was the first man Ziana truly liked, and this was destined to make their youth blend together.
“I understand,” Edison replied.
“He had been with me for a while, and those days had passed. You don’t need to worry about it anymore.”
Edison nodded and held Ziana’s hand, saying, “I got it. After listening to you today, I won’t overthink things
anymore.
“Although I haven’t fallen in love with you, I’m willing to give it a try.” Ziana scratched Edison’s palm and said with a smile, “There are not so many people in the world who fall in love at first sight. Many people tall in love with each other after a long time. Maybe we can develop feelings through time. Besides, love always starts shallow and grows deeper over time.
“The longer we stay together, the deeper the bond between us will be, right?”
Edison squeezed Ziana’s hand and said, “Okay, reporting to my girlfriend-to-be, her boyfriend-to-be would like to apply for her room residency permit. Hoping that she could issue it to me as soon as possible.”
Seeing that Edison was in a good mood, Ziana changed the subject and said cooperate, “You have to fight for that
yourself.”
“I will try my best.”
“Good.” Ziana checked the clock on the wall and said, “I’m a bit sleepy now and want to go back to bed.”
“I’ll walk you back.”
“No need. It’s just upstairs.” Ziana declined, but she was afraid he would think too much, so she changed her mind.
and said, “Just send me to the door, please.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
Edison held Ziana’s hand and led her out.
Ziana followed Edison. Looking at his back, she pursed her lips and said, “There’s one more thing. Although it’s inappropriate to say it now, I think it’s better to set the rules as soon as possible.”
Edison looked back at Ziana deeply and said, “Okay, I will abide by your rules.”
“It’s not that complicated. The most important thing is you can’t lie to me.” Ziana tilted her head and pretended to warn Edison. “Since you confessed and apologized quickly for deceiving me today, I will let you go this time, but 1 don’t like being lied to. If we try to be together, we have to be honest with each other. Do you agree?”
Edison instinctively pressed his lips, feeling uneasy.
But then Edison thought of that thing, which he didn’t know the whole truth about, and thought that it shouldn’t be a
lie.
“It won’t happen again.” Edison agreed with a heavy heart and didn’t want to continue this topic. He asked, “Are there any other rules?”
“Another rule is to respect my opinions. I don’t like being used by others. Don’t force me to make decisions or take sides.” Though she didn’t say it directly, Edison understood what she meant and whispered, “Sorry. I won’t do it
again.”
“Okay, okay, don’t be so serious.” Ziana shook Edison’s hand and said.
At that moment, the door opened.
The two of them were still laughing, and suddenly they both saw Boris standing in front of them.
