“Alright everyone, that was Y/F/N Y/L/N! If you want to see more of her check out her new series, details are on our website!” You flashed Ryan a fake smile as he concluded the interview. You had worked hard for several years by doing small guest appearances on popular TV shows, and you had finally gotten your own. The first episode had been the most watched pilot of the year, which said a lot because it was already late fall. People loved it, and they loved you. Or rather, they loved the girl they thought they knew.
When you had first come to Hollywood, you couldn't have been happier. All of your smiles were genuine and your close group of friends helped you avoid falling into the evils of being a celebrity. Lately though, things weren't going so good. It seemed like for every fan you had, there were 100 people who absolutely despised you. You didn't really pay attention to their comments though, so that wasn't really the problem.
The problem was you. You had worked so hard that you didn't realize you were pushing away your real friends, slowly replacing them with people who were only around you because of who you were. This new group of friends loved dragging you to parties. When they first started doing it you could easily say no to the drugs and alcohol they presented to you, but one day you didn't say no. That day completely changed your life forever.
Ever since that day about a year ago, you drank and used drugs almost every single day. Nobody outside of your team had the slightest idea. Your publicist was one of the best there was, and the extensive media training you endured enabled you to pretend like everything was okay.
It wasn't though. You had never felt more alone in your life, and you were pretty sure that you were at rock bottom. It was ridiculous and if anyone knew, they would call you incredibly stupid and arrogant. On the outside, you had a great group of friends who helped keep you grounded and a show that was on it's way to being the best of the season. Not to mention countless awards. But on the inside you were falling apart.
Your family had stopped all contact with you not too long after the drug use started. They had come to your house with the intention to surprise you, instead walking in on a drug filled party. Angry at them, you kicked them out and told them to leave you the fuck alone. They did. As much as it hurt you, you could only imagine that it absolutely broke their hearts to see their “perfect” little girl falling victim to the dark side.
The thing was, even if you wanted to get help you couldn't. At 19, everyone who was against you already expected you to be a hard partier and drug user. It made you feel so guilty watching your fans defend you, because they were the wrong ones. For once, the haters were actually right.
You left the building quickly, not stopping for any small talk. Your manager apologized to everyone, claiming you weren't feeling that great. You got to the car that was waiting for you, ignoring all of the paparazzi on the way. The second you slammed the door shut you reached for one of the many bottles of vodka that you always kept nearby. You had learned to take the labels off of water bottles, dumping out the water and replacing it with vodka. This was if anyone say they would just assume you were drinking water.
'Thank God for tinted windows' you thought. You took several big gulps, relishing in the familiar burning as the liquid washed down your throat. The driver glanced at you sympathetically in the rear view mirror, but before he could say anything, you closed the privacy window.
