**TRIGGER WARNING**
You shut the door behind you softly, careful not to wake Demi up. Was she even home? You had been too distracted to see if her car was in the driveway when you pulled up. You walked over to the hallway closet so you could hang your jacket up. On second thought, maybe you should keep it on. It provided the warmth and comfort that you needed, even if it wasn’t enough.
You carefully walked up the stairs as slow as possible so none of them would creak. There really was no point in trying to stay quiet, the noise from the shower you intended on taking would more than likely rouse Demi from her sleep. Showering probably wasn’t the best thing to do right now, but you wanted to take one. No, you needed to take one, you needed to wash away any physical reminders of what had happened.
Demi was curled up on the bed, sleeping peacefully. Her soft snores made you envious of her. You doubted that you would ever sleep that well again. Not caring if you woke her up anymore, you shut the bathroom door without any extra effort to be quiet. You leaned your head against the door, but the lack of rustling sheets showed you that Demi hadn’t been disturbed. Turning the water on, you stepped back to give it time to heat up. You stood in front of the mirror, almost sighing in relief when you saw that there weren’t any bruises or scratches on your face. You couldn’t say the same for the rest of your body, positive that what was missing from your face would be present everywhere else. You slipped the jacket off, cringing when you saw the black and blue marks caused by the hands that had roughly grabbed you.
You faced away from the mirror as you removed the rest of your clothing, not prepared to see any other bruises. Stepping into the shower, you didn’t even flinch when the near scalding water began cascading down your body. The only movement coming from you was the trembling of your entire being that you just couldn’t seem to stop. You reached for the soap, stopping when you realized you were too sore and tired to wash yourself. Tears spilled over, but you kept your cries silent, leaning against the shower wall and just letting the hot water fall over you.
When the heat became too much for you to take, you shut the water off and gently patted yourself dry. You dressed in the clean clothes you had grabbed before entering the bathroom, finishing off with a hoodie and sweatpants. It was probably more clothes than you needed, but any less and you wouldn’t be comfortable. You made sure to throw away the clothes you had been wearing, never wanting to wear them again.
Demi hadn’t moved from her position when you opened the door, so she hadn’t woken up at all. You lifted the blanket on your side of the bed so you could get in, only to reconsider and decide that you would feel better if you slept on the couch. Well, tried to sleep, because anytime you closed your eyes all you could see what that stranger forcing himself onto you. Without any more consideration, you grabbed your pillow and went downstairs to spend the rest of the night, alone with your thoughts.
Demi was an early riser, so when you heard her coming down the stairs you flipped over and buried your face in the pillow. You had cried several times throughout the night and you didn’t want her to see the tear stains on your cheeks. She put a hand on your back, almost causing you to yelp at the unexpected contact had it not been for you biting down on your tongue.
What made her think she had the right to touch you? She never asked for permission, though you would’ve said no anyway. She put her other hand on your shoulder, bending down to place a kiss on the side of your head. All you wanted to do was shove her away for having the audacity to put her hands on you. You let out a shaky breath of relief when she left the room.
You pretended to be asleep for two more hours before deciding to get up. You turned the TV on, forgetting that Demi was downstairs and that the noise would let her know that you were awake. When she sat down next to you on the couch, you jumped up, almost tripping over the blanket you had wrapped around yourself. She laughed for a few seconds until she took in your weary face and the tears that had started to fall.
“What’s wrong? Why did you sleep down here?” You ignored her second question, answering the first one the way you wanted. “Y-you scared me.” It came out as a strangled whimper, and Demi was smart enough to know that it had to do with much more than being scared. She stood up to walk over to you, stopping as you took several steps back.
“You’re worrying me. Please tell me what’s wrong” she begged, desperation clear in her voice. You refused to answer her, riddled with guilt and shame. Unfortunately for you, Demi wasn’t going to give up until she had an answer, because all she wanted to do was help you.
You had backed up against the wall, starting to panic at the thought of not being able to escape. There was no other option that you could think of other than to drop to the ground and curl up to try and protect yourself. Demi still had no idea what was wrong, putting a hand on your arm thinking it would calm you down.
You didn’t hesitate to slap her hand away. “No! Don’t fucking t-touch me!” you yelled, trying to wipe away your tears. Demi’s heart plummeted to her stomach as your behavior clued her in to what might’ve happened. She remembered seeing your clothes in the trash can but she hadn’t given much thought to it. She prayed that her suspicions were wrong.
She swallowed hard, pulling herself together before crouching in front of you. “Did someone hurt you?” she asked gently. You paused for a moment, nodding as her question brought about more tears. She didn’t say anything else until your crying had subsided. She wanted so badly to help you, she just didn’t know how. What she did know was that you needed much more than just her, because as much as she hated to admit it, there was really nothing she could do other than provide love and support.
“I’m sorry” you mumbled, breaking her train of thought. She almost put her arms around you, hating that she couldn’t comfort you. “Don’t say that” she said in a harsher tone than she had meant, causing you to flinch. She cleared her throat and adjusted her tone, trying to speak in a way that wouldn’t startle you. “It’s not your fault. Can you tell me what happened?”
You weren’t ready to talk about it, otherwise you would’ve told her as soon as you got home. Describing to her how you had been attacked while walking to you car wasn’t something you were prepared for, so you just stayed quiet. Your silence made Demi feel even more useless. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me now. You never have to tell me if that’s what you want. Let me take you to the hospital. I know you already took a shower, but you still need to go and I…I just want to help” she finished in a whisper.
She held her hand out, trying to prove that she wasn’t going to hurt you. You looked into her eyes, wishing you could tell her to go away and just leave you alone. But the love that you saw behind her own tears gave you the courage and strength to place your hand in hers, squeezing tightly when you felt her warmth, something you hadn’t even realized you needed. “Just don’t leave me” you said, surprised her by pulling her closer to you. She kissed your forehead, repeatedly murmuring words of comfort as she walked you to the car. “I’m not going to leave you. Whatever happens, I’ll be right by your side.”
