“What am I supposed to say to her?” Demi asked as you stood with her outside of Haley's door. You ran your fingers through her hair and shrugged, it wasn't really your problem. “We've been going to counseling for two weeks and you still don't know what to say?” you asked accusingly. She looked away guiltily, hesitating before gently tapping on the door. “Haley? Can we come in?”
She waited until she received a muffled response before slowly opening the door. Haley, who was sitting on her bed, gave you a warm smile before glaring at Demi. You sat on the bed next to her while Demi fidgeted awkwardly for a few seconds until she decided to just sit on the floor.
“So I'm sure you already know what we're here to talk about” Demi started. Haley rolled her eyes and held her glare on Demi. “Are you getting divorced? Because I have a friend whose mom is a realtor and she can probably help you find a place.” Demi cringed at her blunt feelings while you had to stifle a laugh. Even though you had started working on your problems with Demi, Haley had yet to give her a chance to explain anything. This was actually the first time she talked to Demi since finding the magazine.
Demi didn't say anything so you stepped in to give her a little encouragement. “No, we aren't getting divorced. But there are some things that need to be discussed.” You looked down at Demi to signal that she should probably start talking now. “Um, right. Well first of all, I want you to know that I didn't intend to hurt anyone.”
Haley laughed dryly, not believing anything that was being said. “So if you hadn't been caught you'd still be doing it? Is that what you're saying?” Demi looked at you for answers but you avoided her gaze. The girl definitely had a point, and it was something that you hadn't talked about in counseling yet.
“You would be, wouldn't you?” she accused, raising an eyebrow at Demi. She stumbled over her words long enough for you to feel the need to reply for her. However, the words that you said were not the words you were thinking.
“Demi? Why can't you answer her?” The pressure being put on her forced her to say the first thing that came to mind. Unfortunately, it was the exact opposite of what you wanted to hear. “Fine! I probably would be! Is that what you wanted to hear?” You stared at her in shock while Haley just scoffed and left her room.
She stopped at the doorway, turning around to look at you. “I'll go play with the twins. Do you need anything?” You shook your head but gave her a thankful smile. She didn't even bother giving Demi a parting glance before she left.
“I didn't mean to say that” Demi said, trying yet failing to redeem herself. “Yes you did. At least you weren't lying” you said with a shrug. Demi moved to the bed and grabbed your hand so you couldn't move away from her. “Can I tell you something?” You looked her straight in the eye, hoping that whatever she wanted to say was better than her previous words.
“I'm glad I got caught. Because like I said, if I hadn't I would still be doing it. And the thing is, I knew it was stupid. Getting caught made me realize how close I came to losing you and the kids. I can't bare the thought of that happening.”
While she was talking, you were having an inner battle. You wanted to believe her, you really did. The problem was that you had no trust in her whatsoever. You pulled your hand from her hold as you prepared yourself for what you were about to say.
“Maybe Haley has the right idea. Not divorce, but maybe we should stay away from each other for a while. Like a trial separation.” You winced at the gasp that came from Demi. She reached out for your hand only to have you pull it away.
“You don't mean that. We're still going to counseling, we can work things out.” Her voice was trembling as though she was about to cry. You didn't dare look at her, worried that you might lose what resolve you might have left. You cleared your throat so your voice would be free of anything that would give away your true feelings.
“Unlike you, I mean everything I say.” The room was quiet except for Demi's occasional sniffles. You were glad that somehow your eyes managed to stay dry, no matter how hurt you still were. You figured that the conversation was over, so you were a little surprised when you heard Demi's voice break the silence. It was barely above a whisper and you had to strain your ears to hear it.
“I don't sleep that much anymore. When we're in bed and you're sleeping, I'm awake and thinking. I think about what my life would be like if you weren't there and I can't handle it. Sometimes I get up and go watch the twins or Haley and I think about the same thing. Haley already hates me and I know I deserve it. When I get back to our bed I just want to hold you. Every time I hold my arms out for you, you turn away. It's like even in your sleep you don't want me anymore.”
Your heart grew heavy. “That's not true. Maybe I just turn away to see if you'll make an effort to try again.” You barely had time to look up at her when her arms wrapped around you tightly. “I swear I won't ever stop trying. Just don't ever think that we shouldn't be together.” You relaxed into her embrace, having not felt it for what seemed to be so long. You both jumped slightly when Haley reappeared in the room, smirking at you and Demi. “This is so cute I'm not even mad anymore. Just don't screw around anymore, okay?”
