Never ending love {A Germangie story}

Chapter 183

Going back to the main palace I decided to stop by at the valide's grave too...

- Well... Here am I... AGAIN... I know you're not happy, but I hope you'll listen me over anyway - I sighed deeply.

I feel weird whenever I talk like this... Because I probably look like an idiot, but I don't really care anymore. I don't have much time left anyway.

- Being the leader of the harem is indeed hard... And now I can imagine what you have been going through with your sons too... And I'm afraid that... That if I'm gone one of them will end up dead. But what can I do? My sickness has no cure and I feel weaker and weaker day by day... And now that I'm thinking back... I feel awkwardly bad for making your life difficult... I know how hard your life was... Because mine is also harder since I've been in your place... And I feel worried... Worried that this is the end... My family... German... And everyone... They still need me and Allah wants me to leave them... But I love them and I'm scared they might end up dead earlier than they should...

At this moment I swear I felt like she's right in front of me.

- I always liked you and always looked up to you... And since you died I kept trying to work as you did... Keep the harem together and protect German and my children as much as I can...

I sighed deeply then after a short pray I headed off, back to the palace.

----- TIME SKIP -----

As I arrived back and I was at my room German was already there...

- Angie!

- German?

- Where have you been for so long?

- I went to see Mahidevran.

- For this long?!

- Calm down - I smiled as I went to hug him - I visited Hatice, Ibrahim and the valide sultana's grave too...

- Oh!

- Yeah... I just wanted to uh... "Talk to them" for a bit...

- I see... - he smiled sightly then he hugged me tightly to him - I'm just too worried...

- Yes, you are - I smiled back - But I understand that... I'd worry too... I do worry...

- Why so?

- I just am...

- But why? Are you worried about us?

- Yes... - I nodded - Worried about you... Selim... Bayezid... Violetta... Mustafa... Ludmilla... Everyone... That what you're going to do when I'll no longer be here...

- We'll be fine... Don't be worried... - he smiled - Mostly because you're not going to leave us anytime soon...

- That would be nice... But I don't really know...

- Angie...

- German, I can feel that I'm getting weaker and weaker and I can't do anything about it! - I cried out - I wish I could, but I can't!

- Okay, okay... - he sighed as he hugged me again - I just don't want you to leave us... Please... Promise me that you'll fight!

- I will fight till the moment when I can't stand up... - I smiled up at him - I'll fight for you... And for my children...

He just smiled and kissed my head softly while he was still hugging me lovingly to him.

I feel so happy in his arms... And I can totally forget about everything bad... Even for a little while...