Never ending love {A Germangie story}

Chapter 186

On the way home all I could think about was to how to tell my children that I'm gonna die sometime soon.

They'll all be broken if they find out... And so am I... I love them all so much... I love Mustafa as my own son as well... I can't leave them... Not yet...

But I promised that I'm gonna fight as long as I can against this sickness and I will! I will fight!

But I don't know how long I can fight...

- Angie...

Mustafa's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

- Y-Yes?

- Ludmilla is pregnant again...

- Wait... What?! - I gasped.

- You heard me - he smiled - We're having another baby...

- That's... That's amazing! - I cheered as I hugged him.

- It is - he said, still smiling - And exactly this is why I need to ask you this...

- What...?

- To keep fighting... Even if you feel weak... Keep in mind that we all want you to stay alive... And most of all we want you to see our new baby to be born... Okay?

This made me cry instantly.

- Okay... - I muttered - I'll try... But I can't promise anything, you know...

- I know... All I want from you is to not to give up on your life that easily...

- I won't...

Yet it's not that easy when you need to deal with so much pain... But I'll try... For them.

----- TIME SKIP -----

As we arrived back to the palace I couldn't help start feeling uneasy again as I remembered that I need to talk tomy children... To all of them...

- Do I really have to... - I mumbled to myself as I got out of the wagon.

- You have to - said Mustafa - Maybe you'll leave for much longer, maybe not... But they need to know what's up as well...

- I know... - I sighed deeply - Let me just get myself ready for this...

- Should I help you in anything?

- No... I need to do this alone... But I'll need to talk to you too later.

- Okay - he nodded then we both went back to our rooms.

----- TIME SKIP -----

A few hours later I decided to do what I should have done much earlier: start telling my children about my sickness.

But first of all I wanted to talk to that one person that has been helping me out in so much since she found out about me dying: Victoria.

- Don't be silly! You aren't going to... - she snapped, but I cut her off.

- I'm going to die earlier than I should. Like it, or not... And this is why I want you to promise me that you'll look after both my children and the sultan as long as you can... - I said as I took a hold of her hand - I trust you...

- You're saying you're about to die and I'm the one, closest to be dead... - she said, smiling a bit as she was referring to her age.

She's 95 years old, but if you look at her you wouldn't tell.

- Please... Just promise me this and I'll be calm...

- Okay, okay... I promise.

- Thank you... - I smiled as I sighed deeply and later on I've been left alone in my room for a few minutes before I decided to call in my children.

Now, or never...