Josh Dun imagines

Distance

Josh Dun imagine

You were stubborn. Once you had made your mind up about anything, there was no changing it. Things between Josh and you had become difficult. The honeymoon phase was over, and the downward spiral had begun. It was over. You knew it, but you didn't want to stick around for the tragic ending.
So you made up your mind to take off, which meant you'd stopped caring.
You stared at the ground, fiddling with the chipped nail polish on your thumb, as Josh started to light into you about how distant you were. You knew this about yourself. Him pointing it out wasn't a gateway to a revelation.
"You pretend to be this shell," he says, "But I know you. I know you think I don't, but I know you and there's got to be something left inside. You can't be empty."
You shook your head, biting your lip.
"You pretend not to care about anything, but it's an act," he says. "You don't have to keep playing this tough role."
You cringed, but stayed monotonous. Of course you cared. On the inside. But you hated that Josh knew that. Because outwardly caring always led to more shit.
"Maybe you are empty," he finally sighs in defeat. "Whatever. I'm gonna go out for a bit, just get some air."
You nod, knowing this was your opportunity.
As soon as Josh closes the front door, you're grabbing your duffel and filling it with the clothes and toiletries Josh had let you keep at his place. Once you'd scavenged the apartment with your belongings, you slung the bag over your shoulder and walked out, hesitating only slightly before leaving it all behind.
A flood of texts and missed calls had continuously come into your phone since you left. It had been three days and you'd finally decided that this was for the better. He was worried, and that made your stomach churn. He'd stop soon, though, and it would all be for the better. You put your phone back in your pocket and clutched the grocery bags you were holding tightly. He'd stop caring.
You froze slightly, fear flooding your insides as you saw a hooded figure standing outside your motel room. What could this stranger possibly want? You shifted the plastic bags in your hand, their handles leaving an imprint on your skin and put your head down, swallowing and walking closer to the door. He probably had the wrong door.
As your neared, and your footsteps crackled on the pavement, the man turned in your direction. You nearly let your milk and cereal crash to the ground as you were faced by a familiar face. Josh's face dropped and he let out a sigh of relief as soon as his eyes met yours.
"What are you doing here?" you stutter.
"Thank God," he breathed, rushing up to you.
You backed away and he froze.
"Y/N—"
"No Josh," you interrupt. "What are you doing here?" your voice had a trace of panic in it. "How did you know I was here?"
"I mean, it's one of the only motel's in town, I just asked the front desk if they'd seen you—"
"You should go."
"Y/N, stop," he pleads as you try to walk around him.
"What do you want?" you finally scream. "You want to keep fighting? I'm empty, remember?"
"I didn't mean that," he says.
"I don't do this," you say, indicating between the two of you. "I just don't do it. It's too hard."
You turn to fit the key into your room.
"Please," he says again, "But I love you."
You freeze, your shaky hand nearly dropping the key.
"What?" you say, disbelief and dread and anxiety filling your insides.
"I love you, please-"
"Don't say that," you say, a sob boiling in your chest. Tears filled your eyes.
"I mean it though," he says softly, taking another step closer.
You start shaking your head violently. "You don't mean it—"
"I do," he assures you, nodding, still moving closer. Finally he's right in front of you, wrapping his arms around your frame, bringing you tightly into his chest. You let the food fall to the ground, and you break, erupting into a puddle of tears and ugly hiccups. Why wouldn't he just leave you alone?
"I love you, I love you, I love you," he's whispering in your hair and it's all just too much, but it sounds so nice coming from his lips.
You wrap your arms around his waist and cling to him. You're still shaking your head.
"I know you're scared, but please- let me love you. Let me take you home and let me convince you everyday, for however long it takes, that I love you."
Everything inside of you is screaming 'no'. But you nod your head against his chest. Maybe you're the stupidest person in the world, because everyone who ever told you they loved you has eventually left, after all. But you can't help but believe him. You can't help but trust him. And you can't help but love him back.

Credit to joshdunfics on tumblr