Josh Dun imagines

All I want

Josh Dun imagine

The first raindrop landed with a plop on the window, dripping slowly down the long glass window of your apartment overlooking the city. The skies were cloudy and getting darker and darker as the sun set and the moon rose. You peeled your bare feet from the wood and detached your eyes from the window, now sprinkled in little water droplets as the clouds leaked the rain. You uncross your arms and sit at the television numbly, going through the motions and turning the TV on without really realizing what you were doing and why you specifically avoided turned on the TV. And you immediately feel the pang of regret hit you like a tidal wave and you can't scramble your fingers fast enough to the off button before you suddenly snap into awareness, red and swollen eyes focusing on the TV.
You see it and feel the regret course through you like your blood. You don't realize it, but you're walking slowly to the screen, body standing up from the couch and before you know it, your hand is reaching out to touch the smooth screen. The picture of him sends chills through you because of the amount of days you had gone without seeing his face.
His yellow hair is styled in a usual neat mess atop his head, torso donned with a suit, pantless. You had prevented yourself from seeing him, even pictures of him after the breakup, but now that you have seen him, there was no way you were going to stop.
The picture eventually disappeared and the E! News reporter started talking about their legendary Grammy win. You grab for the remote on the couch and rewind then pause, seeing the picture of him and Tyler, gazing for so long, your hand started to grow tired from being held up to touch the TV.
Then the screen goes black, along with the other lights in the room. The power had gone out and now you sit in the quiet darkness, hand resting on the TV still. You drop your hand and walk back to the couch, sitting, staring. You pull your feet to your chest and wrap your hands around your knees, silently crying into them.
You feel like the window, now. Your face was now sprinkled in water droplets and your eyes were the clouds. Red, swollen clouds, leaking water onto the window of your face. You swallow hard, closing your eyes as the memories wash over you like the rain and you silently whimper at the image of him in your head, "If you loved me, why'd you leave me."
You and Josh's love was straight out of the movies. You were a small-town Ohio girl and you met Josh just as he was conquering the world. He was so hopelessly in love with you it was almost 'sickening' Tyler had once commented. It was as if he found his other half, his true match. But that is what he was afraid of the most, loosing you. So, instead of facing the problems with his anxiety working against him, he decided to leave so you wouldn't.
About two months ago, the three-and-a-half year long relationship was rammed into the ground when the stress from the touring all came out one night when Josh left you in your apartment alone, and during touring, made the move to Los Angeles. You will never forget that night. You had loved him with all your heart and you still do. You wanted to believe he did too, but you couldn't bring yourself to actually think he would come back to you someday.
"We can make this work out!" You cried, clutching onto Josh's shirt for dear life like you clutched onto you and Josh's love for dear life.
He sighed, rubbing his face. "There's just no way."
"There can be way!" You shook your head. Josh walked to the door, removing his jacket from the hook and picking up his things.
"Please don't go, Josh," You said through tears. You might as well have been talking to the wall. He turned to you and placed his hand on your cheek while the other hand opened the door.
He caressed your cheek and looked into your eyes, then he was gone.
When he left it was as if half of you left with him.
You peel your eyes open and see only darkness. The power was back on as noticed from the bright lights from the city gleamed in through the window, white, yellow, and multicolored lights reflecting onto the walls and creating shapes and figures on the wall. You reached for your phone and read the time. 3:24 AM.
You gathered your blanket and wrapped it around your weak body. Just as started to walk to the bedroom, where you planned on staying for the next few days, you stopped dead in your tracks.
There was a knock at the door.
You clutched onto the blanket wrapped around your body as you stood, frozen. You stared at the light peaking from under the door. Two black shadows where feet stood on the other side of the door. Your hand went limp when another knock sounded. You dropped the blanket, letting the fabric fall onto the wood and you slowly creeped to the door. You placed your hand on the handle and took a deep breath in before pushing down and pulling the door towards you.
The second the light flooded into the room and into your eyes, arms wrapped around you. A familiar hug. Yellow hair tickled your neck and it took you a second to wrap your shaky arms around him too. You felt moisture forming onto the sleeve of your shirt from his own raindrops his eyes were forming. You stand there like that for a while, listening to each other's shaky, ragged breathing and the buzzing of the hallway light. It's minutes before Josh speaks, muffled through your shirt. He whimpers the words and that's when you knew you were going to be okay again.
"You're all I need."

Credit to trustthepantaloon on Tumblr