Josh Dun imagines

These walls I put up Part 2

Josh Dun imagine

It had been a month since you and Josh had that romantic night together. Your stomach still got butterflies remembering how loving he'd been, your skin still burned from the ghosts of his touch. There was nothing you would have changed about that night.
Now you walked down the short hallway of your's and Jenna's apartment, brushing the loose strands of your H/C hair behind your ear. You felt almost like you were waddling. Your stomach was killing you. All morning you'd been lying on the floor in the bathroom, throwing up or dry heaving. Although you felt kind of gross lying on the floor, the coolness helped slightly with the nausea. For the past few days you'd somehow been feeling too hot but freezing at the same time. At least now you finally were confident enough to leave the bathroom without puking right away.
You groaned slightly as you walked into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of ice water. Jenna walked in and chuckled sympathetically, "Still have the flu?" She asked. You nodded, taking another gulp of your water. She glanced over you, "Well you may feel awful but your boobs are really looking good." Both of you laughed and you covered your exposed cleavage self-consciously. You knew your tank top was low cut, but all your other comfortable shirts felt strangling with how much you'd been throwing up. "Too bad Josh isn't here to see."
You rolled your eyes, "Shut up. I'm glad he's not. Besides, they hurt like crazy. So on top of me not wanting to puke on him, I don't really feel like getting felt up either." You walked into your bedroom and sat on your bed, curling up under the blankets until you were in a ball on your side. You flicked on the TV and soon Jenna walked in, sitting on your bed next to you. She reached into the bag of chips she was eating and grabbed one, offering it to you. Suddenly, you felt your stomach almost retch again. "No, it's ok. Gosh, just the smell is making me sick." You sat up, trying to swallow away the rising feeling in your throat.
Jenna gave you a weird look, "These are your favorite chips! Last time you had the flu you still ate them." You shrugged, sipping the water. She bit her lip as if she was thinking, "Hey, so not trying to be weird or anything but you and Josh had sex, what was it, a month ago?"
You thought back, "Yeah." You agreed.
"And your boobs hurt, you're really nauseas to foods you love, you've been throwing up, and your overheated?" You nodded. She gave you a concerned look, "Do you think you're pregnant?"
The suggestion made your heart drop. Then you realized, "No. I can't be. We used a condom."
A look of relief washed over Jenna's face, "Oh ok. Good. Well I'll leave you alone. I'll be in my room if you need anything." She said getting up and leaving you alone to watch your favorite show. You tried to focus on the plot of the episode that you'd rewatched for what seemed like the 100th time but you couldn't focus. Jenna bringing up that you could be pregnant kept worming its way into your mind. Of course it was impossible though. You guys used a condom. There was no way you could be pregnant.
Eventually, your anxiety got the best of you. You grabbed your laptop and quickly typed in 'can you get pregnant when you used a condom?' Right away, tons of articles came up. You clicked the first one: Condom Effectiveness. The first section was about why you should use protection but the second section was what you wanted to know. Reading over it, you saw even when worn correctly condoms had a 98% pregnancy prevention rate. However, apparently, there were things that caused them to break or weaken. The condom being too small, being stored in a hot area, being accidentally torn when opening, not using enough lubrication. The middle two scared you. Josh had the condom in his wallet, which was listed as a "hot" place in the article. He also tore it open with his teeth, which may have torn it.
The walls around you seemed to be closing in. Your head hurt and you almost felt like getting sick again. Although it was super unlikely you were pregnant, the idea was terrifying. For one, you and Josh hadn't even been together for a year! He and Tyler were at a major high in their career which they worked so hard to get to. Having a baby would completely ruin that. What if Josh left you? You didn't want to be the reason he gave up on his dream but you also knew you couldn't raise a baby alone.
You realized that you had to know. Even though you probably weren't pregnant, for the sake of your sanity you had to take a test. You threw your blankets off and threw on a flannel and tennis shoes, grateful you were wearing black leggings instead of sweats so you didn't have to completely change. You grabbed your keys and walked over to Jenna's door, "Hey, I'm going to run to the store really fast. Do you need anything?"
Jenna gave you a strange look, "Are you sure that's a good idea? You've been puking all morning."
You bit your lip nervously, "Yeah, it's fine. I just need to pick something up." You wanted to tell her but you weren't sure how.
"Do you want me to go with you? Or for you? I just don't want you getting sick."
You thought for a moment, "Actually, yeah. Can you come? I... well... I'm giving second thought to your pregnant theory." Jenna's eyes got wide and she quickly stood up, grabbing your keys from your hand.
"Of course. Let's go." Thirty minutes later and you guys were back home from the drugstore with two tests. You walked over to the bathroom while Jenna waited in the living room. You opened the boxes and took the tests, placing the covers on them and setting them on the the counter. Now you had to wait 10 minutes.
Setting the timer on your phone, you walked out of the bathroom and sat on the couch next to Jenna. She delicately put a hand on your back and you held your head in your hands, "Don't worry." She told you. Her tone was reassuring.
You nodded, "I know but... what if I am pregnant? I mean it would still be hard if Josh weren't touring all the time, but Josh and Tyler are gone all the time. They're freaking famous and at a huge high in their career. I don't want to be the person who ruins all that hard work."
Jenna nodded her head, "Stop. You wouldn't be the person to ruin anything. You need to remember that you and Josh had sex. You and Josh have possibly made a baby. This isn't only your fault." Suddenly her phone went off. She checked it and quickly set it down.
"Who is it?" You asked.
She shook her head, "It's just Tyler. He wanted me to meet him for lunch. But it's ok. Lunch can wait, I want to make sure you're ok."
You leaned back, "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You go have fun at lunch."
Jenna cocked her eyebrow at you, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah! Of course!" You nodded, "Just please... don't tell him or Josh about anything."
"Of course I won't. If you need anything just call me." She grabbed her keys and opened the front door, "And keep me updated." Her blue eyes were full of concern when she closed the door. You paced the apartment, nervously chewing on your lip until the alarm on your phone went off. You ran to the bathroom, grabbing the sticks and closing your eyes before you could see anything. You needed a moment to calm down. Your heart was somewhere between not beating and beating out of your chest, you couldn't tell. Your hands were shaky and you felt like you were going to throw up again. Ok, you told yourself, 1... 2...3!
Your eyes opened and landed on the tests' indicators. Both had little pink pluses. Your heart dropped to your feet. You were pregnant. There was a human being inside of you right now. A human that Josh put there. "Oh my God... no, no, no, no, no." You repeated, running your fingers through your hair and setting the tests on the counter. Leaning back against the wall to stabilize yourself, you slid down until you sat on the cold tile. Hanging your head in between your knees, you let the tears roll down your cheeks. You absolutely despised crying, especially in front of others. But right now, you just couldn't control yourself.
*Josh's Point Of View*
I was so happy Tyler and I finished recording early today. We've been so busy lately that I felt like I haven't talked Y/N at all, except over the phone which was definitely not anywhere near the same. I felt like even more like a jerk because she'd been sick for the last week and I hadn't been able to stop by and check on her. Now was time for me make up for all the lost time and become boyfriend of the year with some chicken noodle soup and movies.
I walked unlocked the front door to her place and walked in silently. She had no idea I was coming and I wanted to surprise her. When I walked in there, I knew right away something was wrong. Quiet whimpers and sniffles were coming out of the bathroom. I dropped the bag of canned soup and movies I had and hurried over there to see Y/N curled up on the floor sobbing, looking like a mess. I quickly knelt down and hugged her, "Y/N, what's wrong? Are you ok?" My voice was more urgent than I'd expected it to be. She flinched away for a second, shocked at me suddenly bursting into her house but she relaxed into my shoulder, fingers holding my shirt. Her smaller body racked with tears and shudders from her shaky breathing. When she didn't answer, I began running my fingers through her H/C hair comfortingly, noticing just how messy and tangled it was. "Y/N, are you hurt?" I tried again, trying to get the basics out of the way. Even if she didn't want to talk, I had to at least know she wasn't hurt.
She shook her head, sniffling as she buried her head deeper into my chest. I shifted my weight on my knees so I had better balance. When I sat up a little straighter, I noticed something on the counter. Still holding Y/N with one arm, I reached up and grabbed the objects off the counter. "I'm so sorry." She managed.
It took me a second to realize what they were but when I did I noticeably stopped breathing. Two positive pregnancy tests. But how? We used protection. Feeling her trembling body against me, how exactly it happened didn't seem to matter. "Are these yours?" I asked, feeling stupid as soon as they words left my mouth. Of course they were hers. She wouldn't be weeping over Jenna being pregnant, at least not like this.
Y/N sniffled, "And yours."
So many things ran through my mind. I couldn't have a kid. I was a 13 year old trapped in a 28 year old man's body! But I couldn't leave her. This was all my fault. I promised her I'd never hurt her and here she was somehow pregnant.
I held her as she silently cried into my arms. Honestly it was strange seeing her cry. I never had before. It wasn't until this moment that I realized that Y/N had a ton of walls up to protect herself and I destroyed them. Or maybe she was just crying because of hormones? I hoped that it was the latter.
After a few minutes I felt her calm down. She sat up and wiped her eyes on the inside of her wrist. "Josh, I'm so sorry." She repeated from earlier.
My heart broke seeing her like this, her E/C eyes brimming with tears. I shook my head and reached over to put a hand on her cheek, looking into her eyes, "No, I'm sorry. This is my fault. If I'd been more careful this wouldn't have happened."
Nobody really said anything for the rest of the day. Jenna came back after lunch with Tyler. The second she walked in and saw me she shot Y/N a glance, probably hoping I wouldn't notice, and Y/N nodded slightly. "Well I should probably go." I said quietly, "Love you." I said barely louder as I ducked out the door.
Twenty minutes later I was at mine and Tyler's place. Unintentionally, I slammed the door shut way harder than I meant to and Tyler knew something was up, "What's wrong with you?"
I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, leaning my face on my hands, "Y/N's pregnant."
Tyler's eyes widened as he sat next to me, "What?! How? Is she ok?" He asked before rolling his eyes at himself, "I mean I know how but-"
"I don't know how it happened. I don't know if she's ok. When I went to her house she was crying in the bathroom." I paused, "I don't understand. We used a condom."
Tyler gave me a sad look for a moment, "Are you... are you sure it's your baby?" He asked warily. Even he sounded unsure of his accusation, just as confident as I was that Y/N wouldn't cheat on me.
The idea hit me hard though. I knew Y/N. I loved her and I knew she loved me. She'd never cheat on me or sleep with anyone else. Besides, I was her first and she was so nervous about that I can't imagine her trusting anyone else enough. But my anxiety set in. What if she found someone better than me? Did I do something wrong and now she wanted someone else to fill the gap? Terrible thoughts ran through my head and Tyler could clearly see it on my face. But still I shook my head, "No. She wouldn't do that to me." We sat in silence for just a moment before I realized, "I tore the condom. When I opened it, my teeth must've ripped it." I mumbled. I ran my hand over my face again, "This all my fault. I just ruined our lives! SHIT!" I cursed.
Tyler flinched slightly. Even he rarely heard me curse. "So... what are you gonna do?" He asked.
I shook my head, "I don't know. I have no freaking idea."
"You can't leave her man." He said quietly.
"Of course I wouldn't do that! I just, I can't have a kid. I don't know how to be a dad. And then what does it mean for the band?" I asked. A flood of worries crashed through my head.
Tyler shook his, "Nah, Josh, don't worry about the band. We can still practice and do shows while she's pregnant and then just not go on tour for a few months when she gives birth. The fans will understand. Family first. Besides, we tour so often a break would be nice." He was right. We could work this out. Nobody spoke for a few moments. We just sat there trying to take in everything that happened today.
Out of nowhere, I smiled. It started off a small half smirk and then became a full on grin. My eyes left the spot on the table I'd zoned out on and I looked up at Tyler, "Dude, I'm gonna be a dad." I chuckled a little. Tyler's attitude changed too. It was the strangest feeling. The fear and panic was still there but a sudden feeling of joy and excitement took over. I was going to have a baby. There was a human being inside of my girlfriend. "A dad..." I muttered again. It seemed so surreal.
"Yeah man, you are." Tyler said smiling and he patted me on the back.

Credit to cautionfangirl121400 on Tumblr