Josh Dun imagines

Camera Anxiety

Josh Dun imagine

me and Josh have been officially going out for 2 months now and we know so much about each other as we were friends before we started dating, this means that Josh is aware that I have severe anxiety and suffer with frequent terrifying panic attacks. I am also aware of Josh's anxiety and panic attacks and how he feels uncomfortable in certain situations that can trigger anxiety.
When I started going out with Josh I knew that I was going to be in the spotlight at certain times and I was ok with this as it is what comes with dating Josh. This has never really effected me because I have not yet been with Josh when he has been smothered with cameras and the bright flashes have been aimed at him at countless directions. Though I haven't been there with him when this has happened he has told me about previous occasions where this has occurred. Sometimes he is able to calm himself down using different techniques that personally for him however sometimes he is unable to calm himself down and he is thrown into a full blown panic attack and those are not enjoyable for anyone.
Josh is currently on tour with Tyler and me and Jenna have tagged along for a portion of it to see the boys as well as visit some area of the world that we have not seen before. Its a sunday and Tyler, Josh, Jenna and I have just arrived in Sydney Australia a beautiful place and a beautiful country. As today is a non show day we thought it would be fun to all go out and have dinner together as this is a rare opportunity for us all to be together and we would like to make the most out of it.
We clamber out of the tour bus and get in one of the vans that come with the tour gear and is used the take us to places where/near Josh and Tyler are performing. We are dropped off in the city and we walk the clustered streets of Sydney looking for a peaceful restaurant to eat at. Seeing that the streets are busy Josh senses me tense slightly at the sight of hundreds of people in an unknown place, he grabs hold of my slightly clammy hand and helps me guide through the busy commuters.
Finally, after what seemed like forever we found a suitable restaurant and we sit down to eat together and talk about the tour as well as what me and jenna have been doing at home. We are in mid-conversation when when a couple of teens one male and one female approached our table appearing to be slightly giddy and excited. They must have been aged only 15/16. The male was wearing dark skinny jeans with rips in them and a checkered shirt however when i glanced down at his wrist I saw that he was wearing a Twenty One Pilots wristband, i smiled to myself. The girl has similar faded jeans with rips as well as a pastel pink top under a denim jacket, she also had the same Twenty One Pilots wristband.
"Hello really sorry to disturb you guys but we are big fans and we were wondering if we could get a photo really quickly." The boy says.
"Yeah sure" Tyler responds getting up along with Josh to take photos with them, they talk for a few minutes and then come and sit back down afterwards.
"They seemed really nice. What were their names?" I ask
"They were really cool, they were called Lily and Mikey" Josh responds.
We continue to make meaningless small talk and continue to eat our meals with no other interruptions. As we were walking towards the exit after we had payed I noticed a large crowd had formed near the doorway that was making me uneasy just by looking at it. Josh grabs onto my hand and leans down to my ear.
"Just look down and dont let go of my hand" I nod in response not entirely trusting my voice to not break when i spoke.
as we approached nearer to the door I could start to see the piercing flashes or the white lights that are placed on cameras to try and get a good shot of their victim. The doors of the restaurant open and we are in a vulnerable position exposed to the cameras, to the media, to the world. I don't dare look up from the concrete pavement and I don't dare let go of Josh's hand, in that moment I want to shrivel up into a small tight ball and hide from the bright flashes that create fierce contrast with the dark night sky. I feel my heart turning to stone and dropping in my chest it feels heavy and alive as it pounds with great force against my ribcage that I am sure that everyone else in close proximity to me is able to hear it. I feel my legs going weak and losing the ability to keep up with Josh as trail behind slightly, my vision becomes slightly blurred as my head spins and a million miles per hour with a constant pounding present at the back of my head.
Somehow, and I am clueless on how I managed to make it out of that pit alive and in one peice we are away from the lights and flashes of paparazzi and clustered area to a space that is open and free away from the hustle. I realise that I am no longer holding Josh's hand and Jenna has ushered me away from Tyler and Josh. In the heat of the moment i remember Josh telling mr something about when he sees other people getting anxious over a situation it sometimes triggers his own anxiety, Tyler must know this and made sure that we were separated until we were calm.
Jenna sits me down on a wooden bench as is rubbing light circles on my back to take my focus away from Josh and the flashes and to only focus on my breathing and wellbeing.
After about 10 minutes me and Josh are reunited as we have both calmed down, I take in his worn out appearance and see a sloppy, disheveled, beautiful smile appear on his face. I crawl into his arms and I am the most relaxed I will ever be in Josh's embrace.

Credit to smuttyphildoesimagines on Tumblr