Josh Dun imagines

Helpless, Homeless (part 1)

Josh Dun imagine

Abandoned, stranded, homeless. Those are all terms that could be used to describe my current situation as a pleading beggar, who lies helpless on the cold concrete slabs hoping and praying for the smallest morsel of food to survive on, if i find any I am lucky it means that I got there before the pigeons did. I sit alone hoping that a generous commuter would chuck me a few pence on their way to work which would be enough for me to do the walk of shame to the nearest convenience store, there I would be able to look longingly and hungrily through the shelves as I see what I am able to buy with my precious pennies. This isnt the life I dreamed of as a small girl playing with my dolls, I dreamed of being a princess living in a magnificent castle with my knight in shining armour there by my side to protect me. However the results of me getting older meant that the dream life i had planned for myself had become unrealistic and impossible. If I could show 7 year old Y/N where she was currently at the age of 25 she would be scared stiff. At the age of 17 I then knew that my young and ignorant dreams of becoming royalty and living in an elegant ancient castle were not what I wanted. I wanted to have a home, a safe home for me and my family no prince with shining armor, just me and a man I love and our little family, I wanted to have a stable job that meant I was able to take my dream family on tropical holidays. Was that to much to ask? It seems as though it was.
I retreat back the small home that I had made for myself in a back alley away from the unsafe streets. I would sit on the hard pavement during the day begging for food and money or anything that would help me get back on my feet however in the evenings I hide away as best as I can trying my hardest not to be to exposed to the unfair world we live in. Its not safe for a young girl to alone on the streets at night, especially a young girl who has no where to go and is in a vulnerable position like myself. my trembling fingers pick apart at the sandwich I had purchased quickly eating it so I could sleep and rest for the night. It was a cold night a freezing one in fact, and it is on night like these I truly wonder to myself what is even the point of living if this is what I am living for? I lie down on the cardboard that I had placed down for me to sleep on, I shudder as my back collides with the cold solid surface. It was my mattress, and I was very careful with it as it is the only thing that is separating me from the concrete slabs.
As soon as I shut my eyes the sounds of the clustered streets around me are heightened dramatically, it feels as though the fast cars are heading straight towards me even though I am safe. Well, as safe as you can be when you are a poor young girl living on the city streets.
Unfortunately, my mind whizzes back to night that I ended up on the streets for the first time. My parents had split up when i was 16 and I was still living at home with my mum and my dad had moved out, i never pressured my parents into telling me why they broke up, the last thing i wanted to do was start a heated argument over something that isn't that important. However I do know that they didnt end on good terms, they stayed away from each other and couldn't bare to look each other in the eyes. My mother was lonely and angry I can understand why, but what I will never understand is why she decided to take out her loneliness and anger on me. She stopped me from seeing my beloved father, she believed that if she wasn't going to be able to see my dad then she didnt want me to be able to see him either. From then on it proceeded to get worse. She would come home every night get drunk, sleep for a while, wake up, the beat me. She would beat me when I would go to check on her and make sure she was all right, consequently she would lash out on me out of pure spite and jealousy.
It got to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore and I wanted to leave and never see her again, I packed up all my belongings and left, I didnt have much I didnt care because all my sights were set on getting out of there and as far away as possible. I walked and walked nd walked and then I ended up in a city in Columbus, Ohio. Here I am, helpless and alone.
I have just woken up to the sound of the commuters going to work in the early hours. This is usually how I am woken up on a weekday, I am used to it. I pack up a few of most valuable things and take them with me. The las time i forgot to do this all my personal belonging were stolen and it was terrible. I can never understand why someone would steal off of a homeless person. Haven't they lost enough?
7 hours, that's how long i have been sitting here and I haven't even raised enough for a sandwich. I was desperate, it never usually gets to this point where I even consider stealing however today is different, and I don't really know why.
I take my personal belongings with me as I shuffle towards a convenience store to see what I was able to buy today. I go to the clearance section and with my measly coins i am unable to buy anything. I was stuck, what was I going to do? I am starving right now what am I going to be like in a few hours?
I reach out for the sandwich and hastily shove it in the inside of my jacket pocket just after i checked my surrounding area. I walk round the shop for a few more seconds wanting it to appear as though I was still browsing the items before I left. As I was about to complete a successful theft and leave the shop I felt a strong grip tight around my arm, I was expecting whoever it was who had a firm hold on me to be a worker or some type of security worker. Considering this, I concluded that if it was a worker or a security worker they would have made a scene out of this and would have made their actions more known to the people in the surrounding area. But this person was subtle and I wasn't feeling any kind of aggression in their hold.
I look up and see a man, not a worker, just a man. I catch myself thinking just a man however he his appearance doesn't strike me 'just' a man. His salmon hair was attempting to escape from under his baseball cap, I was able to see that he has dark eyes that stared down at me with an emotion I can only describe as care, he had arms painted in ink of beautiful designs that had been carefully crafted. I found it difficult to look at this and not think him attractive as he was. However I will not allow myself to think such things as I am in such a position, it would be foolish.
This man pulls away from the exit of the shop and we hide in one of the aisle as to not be seen by any of the workers.
"Let me buy that for you" This man said, this man who I had only met a matter of seconds before hand was offering to buy me some food.
I dont say a word, I have leant not to trust people so easily over the years, and I hand over the food.
He takes it and walks over to get a bottle of water and a chocolate bar, which I could only assume that was what he actually came in for then he goes towards the till. He buys the items and gestures me out of the shop.
"Here you go" He says grinning, a flurry of emotions overwhelmed me I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed that I had let an attractive man see me in such a state.
"Thank you" I whisper and take the bag out of hands, I peer in, I see that the water and chocolate wasnt for him, it was for me along with the sandwich I had attempted to steal earlier.
"My name is Josh, what's yours?"
I look at the man who I now as Josh and see that he isn't looking at me like I was a tramp, he is looking at me like I am an actual person and that is something that hasn't happened to me in a long time.
"Y/N"

Credit to smuttyphilldoesimgines on Tumblr