It's Happening: NCIS

Chapter 27

(Hello loves! Sorry for interrupting your reading. I just wanted to share with you all that I will be busy tomorrow, so I will not be posting tomorrow. BUT because of the new year... SURPRISE here are four new chapters to hold you all over. Thank you all so much for making this year special. I finished my first book, second, and was able to start the third. I love you all. Stay safe and have a happy new year! <3 :). )

Melissa's POV:

Finally, we get everyone on the same page. Everyone has said their apologies, and everyone is finally happy. At least so I thought. The moment Tony asked me if he could talk to me I knew there was something wrong. I just don't understand why he had to talk to me alone about it. I thought we would all be involved in our conversations that we have now but clearly something is going on.

We get to my office and I close the door behind us. The walk here was awkwardly quiet. He must have a lot on his mind if he didn't say a work the entire walk up here. He immediately takes a seat where all my patients usually sit. It's as if he's been a patient himself already.

"Tea or coffee?" I offer him. He declines.

I sit in my chair that I'm usually taking notes in. I wait for him to speak since he's the one that asked to talk to me. He isn't looking me in the eyes right now and I know something is wrong because of the way he's positioned. His head is down, he's hunched over, and I can tell he's really thinking about what he wants to say.

"Tony?" I've never seen him like this before with me. Normally we can just talk because we have that kind of relationship. "What's going on?"

"Is it true?" He asks me. "Is it true that Jenny's your mom?"

I forgot for a second that they were staring at Gibbs and I the entire time we were in the squad room. "Yes, he just told me."

"Shit." He says while running his hands through his hair. "Shit. Shit. Shit."

"Tony?" He's starting to scare me.

"What exactly did Gibbs tell you?"

I shrug. "He told me when they met and the whole situation of her death."

"I doubt it if you can still sit here and talk to me."

He finally looks at me and I can see how much he's hurting right now. What does Jenny have to do with Tony?

Gibbs told me that she knew the guys, but I have a feeling it was more than that.

"Out of everything he told me you didn't come up at all. So, what are you trying to tell me?"

"I was there you know. I was there with Ziva and we were supposed to be watching her. She ran away from us and told us that she would call when she needed us. I should've known right away that there was a problem." He shakes his head. "No, I knew there was a problem, but I ignored it because I thought that if she wanted something to be a secret, it was meant to be secret."

"You're referring to the reason she left?" I don't want to treat him like he's one of my patients. I want to treat him like he's my friend because he is but he's making it really hard with the way he's acting right now.

"Yes. She left to go off and..." he stops himself. He looks me in the eyes. I already know what his next question is.

"I know how she died Tony. I know that it was five against one and she necessarily didn't have a chance." He's hurt that I know the truth, but his relieved he doesn't have to tell me himself. "But I have a hard time believing that you had anything to do with that. She was your director."

"I was supposed to be following her. Everyone would have but I decided not to because I thought it's what she wanted. Therefore, I thought it was a good idea. If I was there-"

"Then, What? You'd be with her right now?"

My interruption shut him right up. He's speechless and doesn't know how to answer my question. He relaxes shoulders and lets his head fall once again.

"Tony." I say in order for him to look at me again.

When he does, I can see that he's been beating himself up about this for a long time. He's held in all this pain and has put it nowhere. That must hurt carrying that around and not being able to confide in anyone about it. I'm not even going to ask if he told the others because it's none of my business. I can only hope that he did because carrying the pain of this around alone is probably more painful than the thought of it being his fault.

"I don't think it's your fault." He looks like he could cry just from me saying that. "If you're going to beat yourself up don't do it on my account. I didn't know her."

"And now you never will."

"I rather know you." I tell him. I wasn't there when this all went down. It was a different time. there were so many other things going on, that a few years later it seems so different to everyone. I know it's selfish to say I rather know him but it's true. I rather have heard about her than get to know her and lose her whether it was like this or the sickness that she had. I rather know Tony.

"Do the others know?" I decide to ask.

"Yeah. We were able to figure it out."

I should have known. I don't have to tell them about her, and I can save us all a lot of time. I have to process this before I can speak about it again. Tony is an exception.

"Tony, I don't blame you and I don't plan to. So, please don't blame yourself."

He takes a moment for himself. He looks at me confused, but then a smile forms on his face.

"What?"

"I-I don't know." He tilts his head but he's still smiling. "It's as if, you saying that makes me feel as if I can move on from this."

I'm happy to help, but I'm not sure how much help I've been. I didn't know her. If this helps Tony, then it's worth it.

He shakes his head and raise to his feet. "I'm sorry I just had a moment there."

"If you need anything-"

"I'll be alright." He says making his way to the door. "I can't wait for all the wedding planning to take place. I'm pumped!" He shouts as he leaves.

I'm pumped too. I didn't expect him to leave that abruptly, but he's already gone. Something tells me that we will be revisiting this conversation again.

For now, I just have to figure out the guest list once again.

Gibbs and I have rekindled our relationship, but I made him a promise that might make matters worse for another.