It's Happening: NCIS

Chapter 42

Melissa's POV:

Seeing Sarah the other day was amazing. I was so glad to see her back to normal. At least, Tim said that was normal for her. Either way, she looks happy and healthy and that's what I care about. I saw her in a different light and I'm no longer scared of her.

I have to say I am exhausted. I don't think it was visiting her being the reason that I'm tired. It's because of all the anxiety I had that day. Having emotions are draining. I'm beginning to almost understand the world of sociopaths.

I feel a piece of paper be thrown at my head. I turn to Jack who's sitting on the couch. I don't know why we made him an office. We're always together in here because we hate not being with one another when we're both here. It is his own space when he needs it though. Sometimes I need my space too.

"Honey, don't take this the wrong way but you look dead."

I can always count on Jack to be honest with me. I can't remember the last time I didn't look dead either. The day he tells me I look nice is a day I have to write down in the books.

"Yeah, I had to deal with some family stuff these past few days." I tell him. I'll still be taking care of family stuff these next few days. It's as if it's never ending.

"Ew. Any in law stuff?" He immediately guesses.

It's like he has a sixth sense for these things. "Actually, yes. We got it out of the way though. We cleared the air and everything should be going smoothly for the wedding." If Sarah can make it. I hope she can it would make me and Tim very happy. I know she wants to be there for her brother as well. They've always been there for each other when growing up. They need each other for the mile stones in life. I know they would regret it if they weren't there for each other.

"Well, since that's out of the way when are we shopping for a dress?" There's Jack always focusing on the positive.

I love how I'm acting as if we have a year to plan this wedding. The dress has been the last thing on my mind along with everything else.
It's because I have to see James first. I have to get all of this out of the way if I'm going to have a clear mind during our special day.

"There are a few more things I have to clear up. When I do, you and Ziva will be the first ones to know when I'm free."

"Good." He sits up. "I'm happy for you and all, but you must be the most relaxed bride to be for a wedding that's less than a month away."

I'm cursed I guess.

I continue to file paper work and don't know what to alphabetize them by. Patients would make the most sense, but usually I'm looking for the medication when I need to pull these files out.

I turn to the pile that I made to just go off of that because I did it subconsciously. I'm not sure where my subconscious went to school, but I'm pretty sure that z isn't necessary close to the letter d.

I hear a slight thud and I look up. Jack pulled a chair up to my desk and he's inches away from my face.

"What's going on with you? You've been somewhere else lately."

He's always asking me if I'm alright. I'm never asking him about himself unless he brings it up first. I'm used to doing that because some people don't want to talk about it. I have to realize that some people just need someone to care to talk about themselves.

"What about you? How are you doing?"

"Don't change the topic." You can't say I didn't try.

I don't think I've ever told jack about me and Gibbs. He doesn't know about James necessarily. He doesn't know much about me, but he's always asking me questions about myself. Maybe he's trying to get to know me and I keep pushing away from him.

I decide to suck up my pride and confide in someone I can call my best friend.

"It's just I have to see my father after finding out something big."

He looks at me to go on.

"He hid something from me my entire life. It makes me wonder why he treated me the way that he did back then and how he's acting now." How much more can I say without totally freaking him out?

He shakes his head and pierces his lips. "Out of all the things I understand, it's father issues. You don't think I have a similar situation?"

"What did he hide from you?" Here's me being pushy and probably won't even tell him what's going on with me. It's still weird to repeat the story.

"Okay, maybe it isn't the same situation. He is hiding something from himself though." He looks at the door to see that it's shut and back at me. "He's hiding the fact that I'm a flaming homosexual."

"What?" I don't understand but can't help but smile.

"Melissa, you and everyone here claim to be able to read people. None of you knew that I was gay. He knows. He's my dad. He can actually read people well too. And I'm his son."

"Being your dad doesn't necessarily means that he knows."

"He pushes girls on me all the time. He doesn't want to believe that I am who I am."

In a way we're similar. He doesn't know it, but James treated me like I was his and didn't want me to know that I wasn't. I wonder how he felt about this when he was treating me horribly all these years.

I look at jack and he's lost in thought. He's probably thinking about all those dates he was forced on. The girls probably fell for him without even knowing they didn't stand a chance.

He looks at me and remembers that we were in a conversation.
"Look, whatever is going on, it isn't worth it. Focus on your wedding. Focus on Tim. No one else is worth your stress especially when you're getting married."

He lifts himself up from my desk and makes his way back to the couch.

It's easier said than done. I don't have a choice but to fix this soon. I can't have another dream like I did that one time.

I still feel as if I can see his body right in front of me and I'm in my office.

I can't tell whether I want him at the wedding or not. I haven't talk to him because I don't know what I'm going to say to him.

I don't know what there is it to say.

All I have is my gut feeling, and it's telling me that things are going to get messy.