"Where the fuck did Skulduggery go?" Valkyrie muttered to herself and looked around the crowd for the skeleton detective and when she didn't see him she thought it was time for drastic measures, so she climbed up to the stage and grabbed a microphone "GRACE KELLY IS UGLY!" she yelled "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?" Skulduggery yelled from the other side of the room and Val grinned "Found him." she said.
xXx
Valkyrie sighed dramatically and shook her head "My partner died 300 years ago today..." she said sadly "Valkyrie! Please stop telling people I'm dead! They know!" Skulduggery yelled from the kitchen "Sometimes I can still hear his voice." she sighed and Skulduggery face palmed.
xXx
Skulduggery is in a room full of people and he cant find Ghastly anywhere "OH MY GOD IS THAT SANGUINE!" he cried and on the other side of the room her heard "SANGUINE! WHERE I WANT TO KILL HIM WITH A HAMMER! LET ME AT HIM!" Ghastly yelled and Skulduggery smiled smugly "Found him!"
xXx
"Skulduggery! My glass is empty! Call wine-one-one!" Valkyrie yelled and Skulduggery sighed "Jesus Christ if your listening...please just kill me now, I cant bare it!" just then Dexter Vex walked in the room dressed and James Bond and wriggled his fingers magically and said "Bond. James Bond."
"Off. Fuck off." Skulduggery said and Dexter whimpered before strolling back to where he came from and Ghastly walked in dressed as Jesus with an unimpressed look on his face "i am Jesus...im here to grant your wish..." he said unenthusiastically "You wish to be dead....uhh....crap! Line!"
"Oh my god...im friend with a bunch of fecktards!" Skulduggery cried and put his skull in his hands.
xXx
"Valkyrie! Get up! Its ten o'clock!" Skulduggery yelled and Valkyrie groaned "Skulduggery?"
"Yeah?"
"Do me a favour and go step on lego." she said and Skulduggery whimpered "You...you don't mean that?" he said on the verge of tears "Trust me Skul! I mean it!" she said and Skulduggery started to cry as he hurriedly walked out the room "Yeah, that's what I thought." she said and her head flopped back on the pillow.
xXx
Skulduggery shivered as Valkyrie clutched the object "What? Did I do something wrong?" she asked and Skulduggery shook his head "No, no, it just feels weird. No one had done this in decades."
"Skulduggery, its ok! I mean whats the worst that can happen? You have protection!"
"Yeah! Yeah I guess you right. Ok!"
"So...now what do I do?"
"Really? You don't know what to do now?"
"This is my first time! Of course I don't know!"
"Ok, just...push slowly."
"Ok! You ready?"
"As ill ever be!" Skulduggery said and took a deep breath as Valkyrie put the Bentley in gear and began her first driving lesson!
xXx
