The Advice Column II

201

Advice Request
This person is really stressed out due to many reasons.

Answered Submission
Hi there!

Having problems, being overwhelmed by your responsibilities, and feeling like you can't share them with anyone is absolutely normal. Just know that The Advice Column is always here to help you through anything that you feel you need help or advice with. You'd be surprised by the number of teenagers who are in the exact same position as you and feel that they have no one to share their burdens with. You say that you would share them with your best friend, but you don't want to, for fear of adding to her own problems, right? I'd suggest that you maybe share the lighter problems with her, and you'll find that you'll feel better about it. Having a best friend means that you two can share problems with each other; my best friend and I often tell each other our problems, regardless of the problems that we, ourselves, may be facing. the fact that you are worried about adding to your best friend's problems shows that you are a good friend, but I would suggest that you share one of your problems with her, because it might make you feel better and show you that you can turn to her for help and support. 

Even though you are the eldest child, your parents shouldn't have such high expectations of you or expect you to get involved with the problems that they are having. My advice would be to speak to your parents and maturely let them know that their arguing is adding to your stress and not helping your studies. Tell them that you are tired of solving their issues and that they should be able to sort it out themselves, without getting you involved. Also, tell them how much you love and appreciate them, and that you don't want to see them separate. If you do this with respect and maturity, then they should have no reason not to listen to you and to respect you back.

If you feel like you are going to fail your exams, I would suggest that you try to dedicate a little more time to your studies, and focus on getting through the exams and how they are going to help you in the future. If you make your studies your main priority, you will increase your chances of passing the exams. As for wanting to take engineering instead of becoming a doctor, I would suggest that you speak to your parents about this as well. Tell them how you don't want to be a doctor and how you don't feel suited to the academics that are required to be a doctor. If engineering is something that you really want to take further and have a future in, then your parents should respect your wishes, because it will be your future that you are working towards. Granted, it might take them a little bit of time to come to terms with your future prospects, but if you show them just how much you want it, then they will start to see how much it means to you to be an engineer.

Since you don't feel comfortable at school, are there any teachers that you could talk to? If so, then speak with them, and see if they can do anything to help you feel more comfortable and involved so that you don't feel weird or out of place. I think that everyone feels more comfortable in their own room, and it's absolutely fine that you do. You'll probably just find that you feel more comfortable in your room because it's a place away from all of your problems, such as you parents' arguing. To feel more comfortable in other places, try spending more time in other areas of the house, if you can. You could try doing some of the things you love doing in other parts of the house—even the garden, if you have one.

I can assure you that, if you speak to your parents and share some of your problems with your friend, you won't turn into a psycho. You'll feel less pressure and have less confusion hurting your head. If you need an escape from your studies or the pressures that you are facing, then turn to the things you love, such as reading, listening to songs, or writing songs/poetry. Try writing a song about how you feel. You might start to feel better once you write it all down and get it out of your head.

Remember, you're not alone.

Sincerely,

The Advice Column Team