The Advice Column II

223

Advice Request
This person is hiding things from their friend and their friend is doing the same.

Answered Submission
Hey there!

You can never be sure if she's actually trying to make you back off or not. I don't know her personally, so I can't make any decisions for you.

I recommend dropping some hints. You can make them up. Just don't forget to be nice and subtle about it! The simplest thing you can do is directly ask her how she really feels about the guy. Make it clear that you don't want any more secrets and that it's okay to share anything.

However, you have to remember to keep an open mind to whatever she responds with. It could be like what you said: a change of heart. She might have changed what she thought about this and that's natural because people's minds and opinions aren't fixed and can't possibly remain the same way for the rest of their lives.

She might have also said everything out of jealousy, since you get to have the guy while she doesn't. People are not themselves when they're jealous so don't be quick to get mad at her. She may have regretted her behaviour.

If you feel like you can't ask her directly, you can also just ask her blessing if you're going to proceed into a relationship with the guy. Sure, you don't technically have to have her blessing if you want to date, but you can do it as a sign of respect for your friend.

Just remember, your best friend is your best friend for a reason. Don't be quick to ruin your friendship with her. You must approach this delicate matter carefully, as it involves feelings.

I hope this helps!

With love,
The Advice Column Team